Monday was worse than Sunday. Being in school, especially during a stressful week of tests did not bode well for my meat-starved, milk-product-craving body. I was tense and irritated all day. My friends tried to pull me out of my self-made promise to remain vegan.
“Just have some chocolate! You look like a junkie without his drugs,” they protested.
“No… I can do it,” I replied weakly. A diet of gluten-free tofu noodles, sauce and too much fruit was not cutting it for me and I was feeling awful.
It didn’t help matters that my class was having an ice cream party for a Siyum. Or that it was a school-wide lunch program, complete with fresh cooked lasagna. The smell of too much cheese was making me salivate profusely.
“Um… Rachelli… you’re leaking,” my friend pointed out. Oops.
I went home that day feeling too tired and too annoyed to do anything. I went to sleep early, hoping sleep would put an end to the angry grumbles coming from my stomach. No such luck
I had dreams about sitting in a restaurant with juicy, dripping steaks all around me. I woke up with a soaked pillow.
Tuesday wasn’t much better. My breakfast was an apple and three gluten-free, lactose-free, egg-free, ultimately, vegan cookie. Yum, delish. Upon arriving to school I realized I had left my lunch at home. And just my luck, Tuesday is pizza day in school, with the stench of cheese and sauce wafting through the halls as girls carry their plates of oily pizza to their lunchtime spot. Could life be any crueler? At that point, I wanted to stop. To end the whole week of being a vegan and just give up.
It’s too hard. I am too hungry. I WANT meat! Never mind the PETA people- they are all so angry because they DON’T eat meat. Makes ‘em feisty. Cholent is good for the soul.
And it’s not just the meat- ice cream is an integral part of any diet… and chocolate- who doesn’t like good ‘ol milk chocolate? Parve chocolate is great, but I miss Hershey’s and Kisses and M&M’s. Call me a weakling. Call me pathetic. I like meat. I like chocolate. Vegan is NOT my thing.
I was ready to throw in the towel. I knew a friend who had chocolate in her locker. I opened the door and grabbed the bag. Just inches from my mouth, I was suddenly knocked over.
“What are you doing?!” someone yelled. I curled up on the floor and held myself. So close… so close…. “You can’t give up yet!” I looked up and growled at her.
Three days down… Four to go. Heaven help us all.