A friend once told me of something she and her friends did when they walked around on Shabbos. When they passed by someone, they would mumble "pajamas," and see if anyone caught on. After all, Gut Shabbos/G'Shabbos and Pajamas sound alike, right? One person caught in. Smiles :)
When I was walking this Shabbos I passed by someone. He was on the sidewalk and I moved to the street. I didn't greet him and he didn't greet me. Ensue a rant inside my head "What if he thinks I am rude? Isn't it bad for shidduchim? What if I said hi? Would he think I am too friendly?"
Sounds a little hysterical, but that leads me to wonder.
What's the right thing to do?
If I say hi first will he think I am overfriendly and flirtatious? (Having been accused of this before in other situations, I try to be careful...) And if he doesn't respond, how much worse!
So I compiled a list of what I deem to be appropriate Shabbos greeting etiquette.
1. If it is a single male, I wait for him to say Good Shabbos first, and will respond if he greets me.
2. If it is female/group of females, I will say Good Shabbos. Especially if I know them
3. If it is a husband and wife, I will say Good Shabbos.
4. If it is a group of males, I will most likely not say Good Shabbos, but if they do, then I will greet them.
Walking down the street with all this in mind gets complicated. I don’t like being rude. I am a friendly person, I do like schmoozing with people, but I don’t want to cross any boundaries or offend anyone. And I certainly don’t want to ruin any shidduch prospects.
What do you think?
Post Sabbatical Salutations!
I go bit of a laugh from this post. I grew up in LA, where everyone says good morning, hi, hello, and good shabbos to everyone.
ReplyDeleteWhen i first came to the east coast, a lot of my friends were horrified at the way i would greet everyone, they said it would be interpreted as flirting, and isnt proper. I dont really agree, and still greet everyone i come across. I do get some funny looks from some ppl on occasion, but hey, it doesnt bother me.
So, in conclusion, i think its a great thing, which most ppl just look at as being nice and polite.
My first shabbos away from home when I went away from high school, i was walking down the street with classmates and passed a group of boys. they all said good shabbos when i passed by, and i was shocked since in my community no one, not even girls (or hardly anyone) wishes a stranger good shabbos. plus, they are boys, we are girls, etc. but then i got used to it, and it was nice. it felt more human and friendly to say good shabbos to ppl instead of averting your eyes and making believe you don't see them.
ReplyDeleteI would not say good shabbos to a single guy, and not to a married man unless i knew him, or yes he was walking with his wife.
then i was home for a shabbos and when i walked in the street and said good shabbos to ppl they gave me strange looks like, do i know you? so i got annoyed and decided never mind. the next person i see, i'm not gonna bother saying good shabbos. so a lady walks towards me and as i pass her by i keep quiet and i hear... "good shabbos" :) and so i turned my head and smiled and was a little surprised. but it was nice.
so there you have it.
and by the way, this has nothing to do with shidduchim. how is saying good shabbos to a random single guy whom you dont know going to affect your shidduch in any way? please tell me cuz i never understand the absurdity of those statements.
So you pretty much have the same feelings... I don't like NOT saying hi to people... During the week I'll smile or say "hi" but then i get ignored or weird looks..
ReplyDeleteAs for the Shidduchim part, I;m being facetious. But these days, anyhthing can be miscontrued and thought of as "bad for shidduchim" or "good for shidduchim"
I just threw it on there at the end, but I have more faith in G-d that my mode of Shabbos greeting won't duly affect my marriage prospects. Then again, when Boaz greeted his workers he got a shidduch and married pretty darn quick...
Hmm. I wish people took that to heart.
End rant.
Thats the east coast for u. west coast ppl are definitely 'warmer'. Everyone here says good morning, hi, hello, as opposed to the east coast (especially new york) where ppl just walk right by u, to busy for anything.
ReplyDeleteUs southerners are a pretty friendly group as well. I say hello and good shabbos/shabbat shalom to everyone. This certainly got me some stares when I was in Israel. But here, we have to. Especially living in a kiruv community, people get offended if the frum girls dont say good shabbos. it looks snobby.
ReplyDelete