Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Yellow Brick Road

Watch your step
You may miss something big
Like a yellow brck road...
 
Where did that come from?
 
Who are these creatures?
And why do I feel pulled
Along this yellow brick road?
 
Where am I going?
 
I will embrace my lack of knowledge
I will confront my fears
Click my heels, I am going home
 
Not yet?
 
Oh.
 
Onward toward that big green palace
Where that man behind the curtain
Has something to tell me
 
What is this?
 
You aren't so far from me
You aren't such a mystery
I don't understand everything
But I do know
That I will click my heels
And come home soon.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Lockdown

It's the third time since Seminary began that we have heard one of the dirtiest words in our newly acquired Israel vocabulary- Lockdown!
 
The first time it happened, it was "exciting". The second time was about a week after the Gilad Shalit-Terrorist trade-- is it any wonder that there was a terrorist running around? According to a report I read, a fair few of the released terrorists returned to their East Jerusalem homes. Comforting, right?
 
So tonight, we went on lockdown. I love the apt description that my Sem-mates use when they call their friends to tell them the news- "There is a terrorist running around!" When they say that, I picture a Grim Reaper-like character, in a black robe, flapping his arms and screaming BOO at every mother and child. If terrorists were like how seminary girls think of them, the IDF would have a good laugh, I'm sure.
 
Now the question comes- what really happens when we go on lockdown? Well first there is a lot of grumbling that we can't leave the building after a long day of classes which is almost nearly as bad as the kitchen saying that they are out of chocolate spread or peanut butter... you can see the difficulty, right? And then, depending on how long lockdown lasts for (thank goodness for the swiftness of the IDF) panic attacks ensue- hurried breathing, sense of clausterphobia, incoherent speech and rapid movement. The thought of a terrorist running around is nearly as bad as the panic attack itself..
 
So the question is... what's actually more frightening... a terrorist on the loose... or a bunch of cabin-fever-Seminary-girls who aren't able to get sushi and iced coffee after clases?
 
I wonder if the IDF could handle the latter...

iShteig

Ok, ok, all the "iBlank" jokes have been used before, but I need to share my own appreciation for the wonderful little gadget called "iPod". I have heard all the arguements, and all the discussions and everyone has an opinion... but do people look at the good?
So today was a lazy day for me. And by lazy, I mean I didn't leave seminary for errands, but I stayed inside to do some work (shock!) and clean my room. So first, I put on my headphones and clicked a playlist... (the playlist was made in response to the bad news I have been hearing lately, and the songs are comforting...) After listening to a few songs, I was "reminded" of my own personal tekufah of struggle. Basically, I needed a quick dose of chizuk. So I scrolled through my iPod to one of my favorite speakers, Rabbi Wallerstein. (www.torahanytime.com). And, really, I am very happy to be able to do that, because I am not sitting in class when I am folding laundry, but does that mean I shouldn't be learning? I shouldn't be getting inspired? (Wow... Seminary has done some quick work on me... maybe this was because of our "Principles of Education" class... our teacher went on and on that in today's age, we don't enable kids to use their knowledge and excitement for learning-- too much vacation... but I digress). Everyone has something to say about the change technology in this world. And don't get me wrong, I know first hand about the pitfalls and struggles, but if a person is careful, wise, and wanting, he (or she) can use technology for benficial purposes. So as I type this, I am listening to a shiur and quite happy about it.

Happy shteiging :)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Only the Gadol Knows

You Zivug hasn't been born yet...

What if you were told at age 30 that your Zivug hasn't been born yet? You would probably feel rather despondent... How would you feel, if two months after being told such, you were engaged? Messes with your head a little bit... Keep reading.

Rav Kanievsky: Your Zivug Hasn't Been Born

(Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011)

A man seeking a shidduch visited HaGaon HaRav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita seeking advice and a bracha, one of the many persons who visit with the Gadol HaDor during the afternoon hours. The man, described to be in his 30s, visited the rav about two months ago, Kikar Shabbat reports. The teary-eyed man explained he cannot find a shidduch, asking Rav Kanievsky for a bracha. The Rav probed the man's details somewhat and reportedly responded "Your zivug hasn't been born, bracha V'Hatzlocha", leaving the man in tears, apparently despondent over hearing the rav's words.

The man recently returned to the rav, this time with a smile on his face, announcing "I am engaged". Those present were somewhat surprised, wondering how he accomplished this in two months after hearing the rav's words. The chosson explained that his bride-to-be is a giyoress who converted a month earlier, explaining the rav's words "your zivug has not been born".


The gadlus of a Gadol is what they know... and what they choose to reveal... Maybe we can take a lesson... And learn to appreciate the humor in life..

Monday, November 21, 2011

Rock Bottom

There is no lower place I know
Than being alone at rock bottom
Because when you are there
The only person who can help you out
Is yourself
And that is the only person
You want to get away from.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Search

The secret of majesty
Is its power held
In mystery
Elusive separation
Fills us with a
Want
That we seek
To complete
And so we search
Like beggars
For a hint of
The king's treasury
And throughout
The week
We hunt and see
And collect pennies
Along our travels
And with that sum
We can finally come
And reside in the palace
Of the king
And every need
He will fully heed
And fill us with his love
Because we searched
And worked hard to find
And lit a candle in the night
To guide us to
The king's eternal light.
The gifts of the king
He longs to share
And tells us with
A smile and a tear
"For you, my dear one,
I will always care"
And these few words
We hold so close
For when it comes time
For the king to send us
Away from here
To restart our search
And fill our lack
Until the next week
When the king
With joy and song
Will happily
Welcome us back.
(Based on a class on "Kedushas Shabbos")

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Stunned and Confused

Like a captive
On the run
"I'm INNOCENT!"
Running... I need to escape
While I still can
Where is my
FREEDOM?
Why am I being chased?
I didn't commit a crime!
I'm not supposed to be serving time!
Get this warden guard away from me!
I didn't do anything, can't you see?
I just want to see the sun
And smell the sky.
Please don't take me back there
Keep your cuffs, and save your blow!
I won't go back there, you can't make me go!
DON'T USE THE STUN GUN!
 
*ZAP*
 
No... no...
I won't do it... you can't make me!
I... won't... do... it...
 
RD 11152011
Imprisoned for: succumbing to sins
 
Let the records show... the warden wins.
 
And in the darkness of this cell
The only thing I truly miss
Is the light
That would end all this.
 
Based on the Nesivos Shalom Yud"Zayin, "Vayehi Ohr"

Monday, November 14, 2011

Of Blown Hair Irons

Last night, we had a class (on a tangent) about Ayin Hara... I was enthralled by the story the teacher told and thought about how it might apply to my life (as that is the point of seminary lessons). And I did take it to heart regarding a certain area of my life...
But I didn't listen close enough.
After I showered last night, I went to do my hair so I wouldn't have to bother with in the morning and maybe I could sleep late (and I did sleep later then I intended... but at least my hair was done!) As I went to plug in my hair iron, my roommate asked me, "why are you doing your hair every night?" and I, rather annoyed, responded, "why do you do your hair every morning?" To which she replied, "I only do my bangs! You're hair is going to die!" And I, getting really annoyed (she sometimes pushes the wrong buttons), replied "I have been doing my hair every day for the last four years and I still have it!" And then I went to plug in my iron. And if you didn't guess- it blew. Israeli outlets and American plugs don't mesh, and after four years of use, and a few months in Israel, my iron died.
To say that I was humiliated and upset is an understatement. Now, don't start playing the "vanity" card- it has nothing to do with looking good. I can look perfectly fine in curly hair- it's a comfort level. Thankfully, the ayin hara wasn't carried out on my hair, rather on my iron, but the blinking neon sign exploded after that moment. It was a firework display of "Why didn't you listen??? How could you miss the whole point!"
But, in my annoyance, I turned off the tape player in the background and missed my message.
It's crazy sometimes how aware we need to be of our lives... from our waking moments, to before we go to sleep at night, we need to be on constant high alert about the rights and wrongs in our lives... and I missed one... and now I have to pay the price.
Literally.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Eilat and Tzefas

Hello? Hello? Anyone still out there? Anyone still reading this sporadically-updated blog? I suppose I owe you something...
A few weeks ago, we went to Tzefas for Shabbos. Let me tell you, it was an eye opener. We went to the Bais HaKvaros on Friday afternoon... The whole time, the song from "Touched by a Niggun" kept playing... "They stared at the picture.... R' Shlomo Alkabetz, his kever in Tzefas, who wrote L'Cha Dodi, we sing Leil Shabbos..." We were right there! To say I had chills is an understatement. Friday night, we davened in Breslov (Check off the list!) It wasn't quite what I was hoping for, but the building was gorgeous, and I really enjoyed. Shabbos day we took a tour of the Old City of Tzefas... Those stairs were NOT fun. But from the top of Tzefas you can see so much of Eretz Yisroel- it was breathtaking.
Motzei Shabbos we went to Meron to the kever of Shimon Bar Yochai- apparently it is a thing to go on Parshas Noach... I am slightly apprehensive for Lag Ba'Omer...
So that was Tzefas!
 
Last week we went to Eilat! We did a few hikes-- I was all decked out in my marathon gear (Team Lifeline- that was a post I left out...) and it was awesome! There were tons of ladders... mind you, I have developed a fear of falling, but no worries, I pressed on!
The next day we got up bright and early and went snorkeling! If anyone ever doubts the beauty of G-d's world, they should get a mask on and dunk near the Coral Reef... it was a totally different world! The fish came so close you could almost touch them! (But I was scared they were going to eat...shock me, so I kept my distance.) Despite the lack of breathing from the mask and all the salt water I swallowed, it was single handedly one of my best moments in Israel so far (Another check on the list!)
 
Then we went to an Aquarium, and from a tower thing in the water (I forget the name), you could see Jordan! Kinda cool and kinda scary...
 
It was a really exhausting two days... especially hearing about the Petira of R' Nosson Tzvi Finkel, which was extremely upsetting...
 
B"H, Seminary is going great... I love being in Israel... my favorite hobby while I am here is to just wander... Forget buses and trains and taxis (oh my!) nothing beats walking, breathing the air and seeing the sights (and honestly, Israel has a fair few...)
 
So that pretty much sums up my life until now... Hope you enjoyed!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Seminary Funnies

There is a page on Facebook called "A Sem Girl Says" documenting all the more brilliant and insightly quotes overheard from Seminary girls... Thank G-d I don't think I have had any such sayings like they post there (IE. "Does this siddur fit my face?") But I have had some funny incidents of my own that I thought I would share... So here goes... What RD, A Sem Girl, Says...
 
Teacher is discussing the rebellion of Adoniyahu..
Rabbi: He made a party with veal and meat and lamb and there were sports... if this were today, what would be missing?
Me: Beer!
Rabbi: Well, someone knows how to party...
Me with my hand covering my mouth, sinking into my seat...
 
Me: How do you spell Apikorus?
Teacher, looking stunned and amused: I NEVER expected such a good question from you!
Me, shooting daggers in her direction..
 
Girl: Where are you going to college?
Me: UMBC... University of Maryland
Girl: You're going to school in Chicago?!
Me, holding my mouth shut so I don't explode, but failing miserably...
Girl: I didn't know Maryland was in Baltimore!!
 
Ah yes... Seminary life is very, very humorous...
 
Good Shabbos!
 

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Power of Imagination

There is nothing so painful, as far as my opinion is concerned, than a life never lived... an opportunity missed... a moment lost... The imagination of the human mind is so powerful, so convincing, that dreams can become reality, thought rather unreal and wishes seem to come true... yet only within the confines of one's mind. Were you ever presented with a chance, an opportunity and for hours you would think about it, create its setting and events in your head, painting a detailed, perfect picture of the outcome you wanted? But then... somehow, it became lost. Rather by circumstance and sabatoge or simply, it was never meant to be.. and suddenly, that picture that was so close in our mind, seems so far off, yet so tangible, that we chase after it, desperate for it be fulfilled. It feels so real. It is so real! The things we imagine, the things we want have the ability to "become" real in our minds! How can the transparent, slippery and elusive dreams we have come true? How can we turn our imagination, our hopes for a certain outcome into actuality?
Sometimes, sad as it is, this can never be...
Last week, a boy I knew was tragically killed in a car accident. Upon hearing the news, so sudden and so shocking, I burst into tears. There was  this profound knife shoved into my heart, and I felt too weak, too incapable to remove it. I didn't know him well. We spoke briefly one day during the summer, but it was those few moments that had an impact on me. It was after a long, tiring week and I was feeling empty, both physically and emotionally, and this boy, with just a few words, managed to bring a smile to my face. And I remembered. When I heard of his tragic petira I was suddenly confronted with the scenario above... the wishes and dreams that his parents had for him... the hopes and opportunities that he thought he would have... cruelly torn away. And I sat, tears streaming down my face, thinking of the life he will never have. He was 22... almost, or already dating. He won't marry... he won't have children... His parents won't reap anymore nachas from their precious son. And suddenly, our imagination paints the clearest picture in our mind of a future that will never be.
In life, the events that precede someone's passing often affect how we will feel after the person passes away. Someone who is sick for a while, we are almost grateful when they pass on- they aren't in pain anymore. Someone is older, we feel fulfilled- they lived a long life. A child, there usually is no relief... when they are sick, again, there is that small ounce of gratefulness... a parent  no longer has to watch their child suffer... but an accident, so sudden, unexpected, no time to prepare... well, there is no goodness in that... not even the smallest amount.
I have few words for this boy's parents- I cannot imagine their pain. The only thing I can wish for is that in time, and with time, they will find some nechama in this sad situation. Their son was truly a special person. He was a pursuer of chesed and embodied simchas hachaim. His loss will leave a void in my life... and the lives of those who were privileged to know him.
I hope that whatever insight and inspiration readers may gain from this blog, will be an aliyah for his neshama... If you smile when you read something, or gain a new understanding that can bring you closer to Hashem, that will reflect and carry on the life he led.
L'ilui nishmas Shimon Yosef ben Daniel

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