Saturday, December 31, 2011

Confusion

When all else fails, the yetzer hara will pull out his dirtiest tactic- confusion.
You know Pandora's box? Confusion was in there.. confusion WAS the box... So it makes sense that unleashing it caused a lot of problems.
Why is confusion so bad?
When we know the difference between right and wrong, when it's clear, there is struggle, but it's obvious. Throw confusion in there, then the struggle is blurred and mixed up.
I see that sneaky little hand of confusion come up and suddenly, nothing makes sense.
And if there is anything more torturous... It's confusion.

I hope you find clarity soon, and through that, find your own peace.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Rhapsody

I'm skipping
Tripping
Love this lie
This blissful high
I'd take this dream
Sew its seams
And wear it like a coat
Set it as a sail
And coast on this boat
Neverland is only as far
As you let your imagination take you
I saw clouds that looked like you
They faded into the endless blue
And I forgot that you were once true
So I leapt to the sky
The moon isn't so high
When I know I can always land
Amongst the stars
And make my wishes real
And break this bad deal
I can go back to my dance
And get lost in my own trance
This song sings like forever
And will carry me on to Never

Anger

Below is a poetic description of what happened to me last night... All of the details are true, except for one part. Can you guess?

She steps on the bus
Cursing the world
Words so violent
It caused stomachs to curl
 
Every F-word
And even more in between
The sound of nails and dirt
And more, so obscene
 
Loud and clear
The roar of the insane
A thousand words
Pierced with anger and pain
 
Depression, obsession
"Stop polluting the air
You have a response?
I really have no care"
 
"See this finger
You're not worth my breath
But I'll keep cursing
Until there is none leftt
 
Every year
It's all the same
Kids with no respect
Playing at this game
 
"Just drop me off
I don't want this anymore"
Oops, the bus hit her
And she is dead on the floor.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Be A Man

Sometimes in life, you have to take matters into your own hands. When a situation needs fixing, you have to stand up. Take charge. Be a man where no one else is being on.
(Or woman... depending on your situation).
Sometimes, it means going out of your comfort zone. Making decisions that didn't know, or think you can make.
Sometimes, that is very hard.
But what happens if you don't take control?
Things can fall apart... become a mess.
You need to take control.
And today, I did just that. I saw a situation that needed adjustment. It required peseverance and determination.
Which is why today was a very monumental day.
I took a tool to aid my success and went at it.

Today, I cut my hair.

:)

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Invisible

Up in smoke
Remnants still burning
Disappearing in the air
Invisible...
Invisible...

You can see the wisps
Or what was once there
A dream
A wish...
Invisible...

Can I?
Could I?
Should I?
Would I?
Wish.... wish...

To be...
Invisible...
Divisible...
A wish...
A dream...
Good night.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Flame

I see you flickering
Fighting against the darkness
To make your own light
To shine your own beacon
This world keeps trying to blow out
With winds of change
But a flame remains a flame
And while it can share it's light
Once it's out
The flame is gone...
So keep flickering and dancing
And spreading your light
Your pure brightness is enchanting
And your power is enhancing
Because there is strength in numbers
And you, my tine flame, are not alone
For each night you remain strong
And sing your song
After these eight days
You and I will reach
A point of human existance
Beyond normal comprehension
A time in space
That defies all preconcieved notions
A time that has been set in motion
And you, my powerful flame
Will be the light that leads the way
So my flickering flame
Shine on
Until that time
When all darkness is gone.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Awareness

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
 
 
I just thought you should be aware...

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Trying Times

Part One
Where is the world going
Where have all the good ones gone
Our collective journey is ending
As the end of time is nearly upon

Today, tomorrow
I do not know, pray tell
Yet this I do know
We are sadly not well

To make a decision
In reverse of what you already said
Are you safe at night
When you sleep in your bed?

What demons haunt you
What mistakes lurk in your dreams
Are you breaking under the pressure
Of self made change-beams

Does anything keep you strong
Or are you broken and weak
You used to sing for the masses
And now you lost your ability to speak

Part Two
Where do we hide
And what do we see
The modern addi(c)tion of society
Has been the detriment of humanity

A family shattered
A life destroyed
For something so fake
That could never fill the void

Yet where is the sustenance
I so desperately need
In this dark times of destruction
Who will plant a seed?

The sun of our nation
Is diminished like the moon
And all we can ask
Is that our redemption comes soon

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Read between the web pages

      I am
     unable
         to hold
    myself back
    from
looking at     
these
       things

Ctrl+F

I am lost in this place...

Ctrl + S

Save me... Please...




*Based on a Chinuch class

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Change

Change means there is a new person waking up in your bed. And that person is you.
Change means there is a new person staring back at you in the mirror. And that person is you.
Change means there is a new person writing your words. And that person is you.

And isn't it scary when there is a stranger in your bed?
Isn't it scary when you don't recognize the person in the mirror?
Isn't it scary when you don't know where these words came from?

When you change, you can't be comfortable.
When you change, you have to stretch your limits.
When you change, you are not the same.

So if you are not you... then who are you?

Monday, December 5, 2011

G-d's Answers

What are you praying for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you need something different?
Or do you need something more?

You've been asking and hoping
You've been waiting for days
For G-d to grant you some clarity
Through all the muddle and haze

And it seems like there is nothing
There is no hope in sight
You've been trying for so long
And you're ready to give up the fight

It seems like G-d
Has given you a resounding NO
But there is a deeper message
That needs its time to show

G-d will never tell you never
Only that there is something better for you
If you wait sometime
It will be revealed with brilliant truth

G-d will never tell you no
Rather that the time is not ripe
And there is a clock ticking
As your answer comes down a pipe

G-d will never tell you no
The only answer left is YES
But you must realize
That He will only answer for you what is best.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Sunday

It's 6:15 Sunday night... Normally, I would be pajamas, or totally relaxed with no worries or cares... after all, it's Sunday. But in Israel, or at least in Sem life, Sunday is like any other day... in fact, we have more class on Sunday than most days... and it really makes me wonder.
In a lot of areas, the Israeli/Charedi way (depending on how you look at it, no starting arguements here) they really have the right idea. By turning Sunday into a regular day, and not one where one can just "relax", it puts more of a focus on Shabbos. Shabbos, Yom Menucha must epitomize everything that Sunday cannot be. A day of rest and reconnection with Hashem, without the distractions of work, technology and every day life. By not having Sunday to "recharge" Shabbos becomes a focal point for our week... We must put a lot of effort into Shabbos because, without Sunday to "catch up" there must be more put into Shabbos.
I hear the complaints of people who say they miss having Sunday (new Olim, obviously) but it kind of is a good thing. It means that every day must be utilized to its fullest and everything that can be accomplished in each day of Chol, must be done, so when Shabbos comes, it is just us and Hashem.
Sounds like a lot of pressure, but the way the world was created was that each day was filled with work, and on Shabbos we rest, and as Banim L'Hashem we are required to imitate His ways. G-d didn't just chill on Shabbos. One of the fundamentals of the world was created on Sunday!
So bearing that in mind, all the Chutznikim reading this (Ok... me included) take the time to turn Sunday into a greater means to connect to Hashem, thereby encompassing His plan and ideals of creation and this way, when Shabbos comes, there are no worries about "did I get everything done?" because by utilizing each day of the week like Hashem did during the Briah we can come to Shabbos with peace of mind and only connect to Hashem.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Scared

I see the way they look at him. I know what they are thinking. They are uncertain... they are afraid. They are scared. And rightfully so... but it's only because they don't really know what they are looking it
Y is the boy who I spend two hours with every Thursday. He is my chesed kid, and sometimes he can be difficult, but I wouldn't trade my time with him for anything.
Y has Down Syndrome. And because of him, I learned something about myself: Down Syndrome doesn't scare me. I have had plenty of prior interaction with kids with Down Syndrome, but never so consistently, and so intimately. It's just me and him. And I love it. Y is funny, smart and most of all, a really sweet kid. When people hear "Down Sydrome" they think: unintelligent, incapable and slow. And Y is far from it. He speaks two languages, knows his way around his neighborhood, is friends with all sorts of people and enjoys playing tricks on me. It's true- he isn't so fabulous at math (but we are working on it!), he looks different than other boys and his speech isn't so clear. And when someone first looks at him, they may be cautious. The kids in the park stare... he acts different than them. And I am sure there was a time when I was like them... but somehow, I realized that it's only what we don't know that scares us... and these kids, they don't know Y... I hope one day they will.

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