Job Wanted

When I signed on to be his "assistant", I prepared myself for shuffling papers, coffee runs and tedious tasks. I thought I would be sitting at a desk, watching as the hours pass by, mind numbingly slow, while trying to maintain a semi-decent composure. I wasn't really prepared for what my real job requirements would be.

He came in the first day, all smiles and good cheer, handing me a coffee.

“Mocha latte okay?" He asked, handing me the seasonally decorated cup, a jovial grin on his face. I took the cup, blank faced and utterly confused. Maybe I read the wrong job details? Maybe I was supposed to be telling him what to do?

I scanned my emails and, to my dismay, he was still the boss and I was still the assistant, only more confused than I was when I first walked in.

He swept towards his desk, dropping a coat on the floor, a briefcase near his desk, and a celphone on top of a pile of papers.

            “Rachelli, come in here please.”

            Making every effort to live up to the dutiful assistant I intended to be, I hurried into his office. The disarray I saw it in shocked me, when only moments earlier it had been spotless. I worked tirelessly before he came to make sure everything was in pristine order. Clearly his brain didn’t operate on “clean-mode.” I made a mental note to remember that, so I could avoid wasting precious time organizing his office.

            “I need you to do something for me,” he began, taking his eyes off his computer as he spoke.

            “Ok...” I replied, getting slightly nervous.

            “I doubt you’ll find it listed in your job requirements. It’s going to require some more skill... and creativity. And a bit of risk. Think you can handle that?” He asked, eyeing me cautiously. Eager to please, I nodded my head excitedly.

            Mr. Fried, or Josh, as he wished I called him, was a young entrepreneur, a bright mind with a lot of energy, creativity and drive. His father was the owner of the largest real estate agency in the city, and Josh seized the chance to get in the field. He bought houses, remodeled them, and sold them for nearly triple their original price, effectively becoming incredibly wealthy simply by having a great “in” in the business, and more charisma than any one person should have. His ability to hype people got him far. Contractors vied for his jobs because he was just so much fun to work with. Having daddy’s money to start him up helped him on his feet, and now he was buying at least one house a week, remodeling them in a few weeks, and selling for a nice profit. When I saw the ad he placed, looking for an assistant/secretary, it seemed like a great oppurtunity. Now I was starting to wonder what I got myself into.

            “I need you to scout a house for me. It’s supposed to be a real steal, but if anyone sees me there, it’ll be bad news. Can you do this for me?” He asked, his eyes opened wide, pleading. As his assistant, wasn’t this part of my job? Could I say no?

            “Sure.” He smiled. I swallowed all the saliva in my mouth, feeling it become dry in just a moment.

            What am I getting into?

Conundrum of the Klal

I just took one final, had an iced coffee, the sun is shining and I feel really good right now... So while my head isn't feeling low, I think I can properly articulate some of the thoughts in my head... 


A few days ago, I was informed of the passing of a young man, after his long battle with cancer. At first, he was a name I knew by association, and by that alone, I was upset. Then I discovered the face behind the name and the hurt was so much more.
By association, this has been a rough year. The passing of a child, of a fighter in no small deal. It signifies a life cut short, when there was so much potential and so much promise. So yes, it hurts.
But then I think... does it hurt, solely because I know the children who passed? Has this year been a rough one for me because of the affiliations I have? Or has the Klal as a whole taken too many bullets... literally and figuratively. The Fogel family... the bus bombings... car accidents... cancer... Is it really all of epic proportions, or only because I know of the national and personal tragedies?
At the same time... all the pain I experience, the news that I must learn to accept (and cry over) someone else has there own portion of problems and pain to deal with...
So then perhaps it really hasn't been a "tough year" for just me.... just this family I am involved in... but... everyone?
If there were a measure, a scale, a ruler for pain, would we all be on the same mark, weighing in the same? Or does each person measure differently? The tragedies afflicting our people are great. We are the victims of media persecution, religious opposition, self hatred and assimilation. We suffer from the hands of others, the hands of our own, and from the hands of forces we cannot control. Bombings, cancer, shootings... The list is quite endless... Is this a hard year only because we are a part of _____________ and thus there are certain inherent "side effects" of being associated with such an organization?
Is it just a "hard year" for the klal? i mean, we take a hit each time we hear about a camper... but it's only those within the family.. and because it's those we know, it hurts even more... my friends who arent involved arent going through it... 

For the klal, its definitely been a tough year... but is it that much more painful because of our involvement with ________________ and the sensitivity of knowing that not every child will be healed?

Is it a "tough year" because of the profound loss we have experienced or this is normal for us...? I can't recall being so cognitive of pain and loss and suffering. Is it because I never noticed before? Or because it's so much closer to home? Or because the intensity of which we are being struck has increased?

Hearing all this bad news... all this loss... makes me feel so... helpless. It makes me more aware of a being, far greater and more powerful than I. It makes me realize, I am not in control. No one really is. Not the soldiers, the leaders, the doctors... It makes me realize I have no one to rely on during these times but Avinu She'Bashamayim... Because if I can't rely on him, then from whence shall salvation come?

Not sure how much sense this post makes, but it sorta of accentuates the fact that all of this is so incomprehensible and really, there is no explanation that man can give... at least we can try...

Indecisive

Ok, I'll fess up. I am indecisive. I can't decide what to eat, wear, say... And when I do choose something, I like to choose the alternative whenever possible. I just can't make up my mind! I want noodles... no, salad... I JUST WANT FOOD! And when it comes to blogging... well, if you check my blog often enough, you'll be sure to see at least four different posts in one day, but only one will make it to the final cut. (Which is probably why I have about twenty draft posts because I can't decide what to publish and what not to ie. too personal, not coherent, really random, ultra depressing... catch my drift? But of course, in the grand scheme of things, this post is personal, but I am sharing it anyway just for general FYI)

I can't decide what books to read... it looks good, but the content is questionable, so I start and BH I am pretty good at screening my books, even if it seems good, and I will close it. I have done this before even when I really wanted to read the book.

I can't decide who to call. Who should i call to: cheer me up, shmooze, learn a bit with, tell a good joke, share some sorrows. I just can't choose!

People have told me before that I am indecisive. I feel like tug-o-war is being played in my head. back and forth, back and forth, left or right, up or down, WELL WHICH ONE IS IT? BH, in the end, I can usually choose whatever is best, but not after a ten minute mental debate with myself.

So, I just thought you should all know, I am indecisive... but proud of it because then I really can get down to the raw, bare details of anything, figure out the pros and cons and BOOM! A good choice... It just takes a while and a whole lot of talking to myself... (don't worry, I am not crazy... but if I start answering myself back, you might want to call the men in white coats... happens to be, they are my good friends :D )

So, my name is "Rachelli" and I am indecisive. Nice to meet you...


Or is it?


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And now, because this seems to be my shtick, I would like to share a poem with you and I would *LOVE* if you comment on this one, because I would like the feedback about... well... read and find out!

Just a question, so honest and true,
Hit me in the face, smack of the blue,
“What do you like to do to enhance your Shabbos
And to make your Rosh Chodesh special, let’s discuss!
Can you answer me about these two?”

“Well friend, what is this for?”
I asked her, hinting towards more
Why is she asking me this question today?
Is it for an article or survey?
How will she mark me, will I score?

“It’s just for me, I am curious to know
So when I am big and all grown
I can use it for my family, to teach each child
That these special days are worth our while
So give me an answer, let’s go!”

I think to myself, why this hasn’t crossed my mind
Before, why is it that in my head, an answer I cant find!
Shouldn’t this be something I think about each week,
Each month and now an answer I can’t speak!
I wish that I could reply to her in kind!

So I stumble along, to make up something to say
But this should be something I think about each day!
Shabbos occurs every week no matter what
But I can’t get my mind out of this rut
And I just wish I could run away!

I made up something, a little random, I should add
And now I can’t help but feeling just a drop sad
Why don’t I have something readily prepared?
When she asks, “about your Shabbos/Rosh Chodesh enhancement, care to share?”
So now I got it in my mind to find something to make these days grand!

Maybe to more conscious of the way I speak
Than how I do normally during the week
Perhaps I’ll visit a friend who I normally don’t see
Cuz we don’t get a chance when rushing through school so speedily
I am going to find some special and unique!

Maybe I’ll daven just a little bit longer
And make my connection with Hashem a bit stronger
Or I will make it a point to always read my ‘Parsha Views’
Because it teaches me all I need to know about being a good Jew
And with these ideas, my answer won’t be a vague blur!

So share with me your ideas please,
Let’s unlock the Shabbos/Rosh Chodesh potential with our original keys!
If we can find one thing to enhance these days
Perhaps we can pull Klal Yisroel out of this Galus haze
Come let’s grab this opportunity, together, we’ll achieve!