Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Indecisive

Ok, I'll fess up. I am indecisive. I can't decide what to eat, wear, say... And when I do choose something, I like to choose the alternative whenever possible. I just can't make up my mind! I want noodles... no, salad... I JUST WANT FOOD! And when it comes to blogging... well, if you check my blog often enough, you'll be sure to see at least four different posts in one day, but only one will make it to the final cut. (Which is probably why I have about twenty draft posts because I can't decide what to publish and what not to ie. too personal, not coherent, really random, ultra depressing... catch my drift? But of course, in the grand scheme of things, this post is personal, but I am sharing it anyway just for general FYI)

I can't decide what books to read... it looks good, but the content is questionable, so I start and BH I am pretty good at screening my books, even if it seems good, and I will close it. I have done this before even when I really wanted to read the book.

I can't decide who to call. Who should i call to: cheer me up, shmooze, learn a bit with, tell a good joke, share some sorrows. I just can't choose!

People have told me before that I am indecisive. I feel like tug-o-war is being played in my head. back and forth, back and forth, left or right, up or down, WELL WHICH ONE IS IT? BH, in the end, I can usually choose whatever is best, but not after a ten minute mental debate with myself.

So, I just thought you should all know, I am indecisive... but proud of it because then I really can get down to the raw, bare details of anything, figure out the pros and cons and BOOM! A good choice... It just takes a while and a whole lot of talking to myself... (don't worry, I am not crazy... but if I start answering myself back, you might want to call the men in white coats... happens to be, they are my good friends :D )

So, my name is "Rachelli" and I am indecisive. Nice to meet you...


Or is it?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


And now, because this seems to be my shtick, I would like to share a poem with you and I would *LOVE* if you comment on this one, because I would like the feedback about... well... read and find out!

Just a question, so honest and true,
Hit me in the face, smack of the blue,
“What do you like to do to enhance your Shabbos
And to make your Rosh Chodesh special, let’s discuss!
Can you answer me about these two?”

“Well friend, what is this for?”
I asked her, hinting towards more
Why is she asking me this question today?
Is it for an article or survey?
How will she mark me, will I score?

“It’s just for me, I am curious to know
So when I am big and all grown
I can use it for my family, to teach each child
That these special days are worth our while
So give me an answer, let’s go!”

I think to myself, why this hasn’t crossed my mind
Before, why is it that in my head, an answer I cant find!
Shouldn’t this be something I think about each week,
Each month and now an answer I can’t speak!
I wish that I could reply to her in kind!

So I stumble along, to make up something to say
But this should be something I think about each day!
Shabbos occurs every week no matter what
But I can’t get my mind out of this rut
And I just wish I could run away!

I made up something, a little random, I should add
And now I can’t help but feeling just a drop sad
Why don’t I have something readily prepared?
When she asks, “about your Shabbos/Rosh Chodesh enhancement, care to share?”
So now I got it in my mind to find something to make these days grand!

Maybe to more conscious of the way I speak
Than how I do normally during the week
Perhaps I’ll visit a friend who I normally don’t see
Cuz we don’t get a chance when rushing through school so speedily
I am going to find some special and unique!

Maybe I’ll daven just a little bit longer
And make my connection with Hashem a bit stronger
Or I will make it a point to always read my ‘Parsha Views’
Because it teaches me all I need to know about being a good Jew
And with these ideas, my answer won’t be a vague blur!

So share with me your ideas please,
Let’s unlock the Shabbos/Rosh Chodesh potential with our original keys!
If we can find one thing to enhance these days
Perhaps we can pull Klal Yisroel out of this Galus haze
Come let’s grab this opportunity, together, we’ll achieve!

2 comments:

  1. I had a similar rude awakening when I was in 11th grade and a teacher said, I hope shabbos doesn't mean the same thing to you as it did when you were 5. Everyone was like, no, shabbos used to be to see friends, now shabbos means so much more- sleep... But that got me on a quest. Some suggestions: shul, tefilla(learn abt. the shabbos tefillos), learn s/t, read s/t inspirational, do a mitzvah(nursing home, visit a girl in your class who'd appr. it), or even something as little as thinking about the meaning of one zemer. Anything just to make you more aware and thinking about this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There is an amazing book (or maybe you can call it a sefer?) called, Nefesh Shimshon - Making the Most of Shabbos that will truly change every aspect of your shabbos!
    It's worth every penny!!! If you read/learn a little bit of it every week, your shabbos will surely change...

    ReplyDelete

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