Friday, October 29, 2010

Why Is It So?

A friend came over last night and we spoke for a while about her grandfather who is sick. I tried to give her chizuk, ways she could help herself cope, and reason to smile and find the good in life, even when it seems so impossible. Her grandfather has been sick for a while, and in fact, wishes to die. His pain is so great, he has been dehumanized as he can't even go to the bathroom on his own.
She came to me to discuss this because of my experience with sick children (see my posts about Wonderland). I gave her my perspective on the situation, and ways she can accept the answer to her burning question.
Why is G-d doing this???
It's a valid question. We may never know the answer, but we can ask. And I told her, you can be mad at Hakadosh Baruch Hu. You can yell at Him, you can cry to Him. But you cannot ignore Him. Don't push Him away, because the moment you do, every ounce of hope is gone. When you have no one to talk to, no one who understands, HE does, and He desperately wants to hear from you!
My experience with sick children is such that I draw so much from them. Yes, their situation is awful. But so much can be gained from engaging with these children. Illness in any form is tragic, there is no doubt about that. I know kids, I know adults, who have every right to sulk around all day, to be mad at the world, to be mad at G-d, but somehow, in their darkness, in the shadows of their lives, they find light and spread it to the world. They show the world, "We may be hurting, we may be in pain, but it doesn't control us."
Every time I watch this video, I cry. But this family, this child! epitomizes what it means to find the light, even in so much pain!
I can't give my friend the answer to her question. I can't even begin to try.. I am no doctor, rebbetzin, nor do I know the full extent of the situation or all the cheshbonos involved, but I can tell her: Even though it is hard, even though it is difficult, you can still be happy... you can still be strong! Call to Hashem, cry out to Him! Load your burden on Him, and you will find yourself feeling so much lighter....

I hear about too many sick children, too many adults passing on... it hurts, and it's hard, and I have been angry at Hashem for what He does... but then I realize, not a thing that He does is bad... I just need to find the good in it all...

Im Yirtze Hashem, we should only have refuos, simchas, and brachos in our lives...

Thursday, October 21, 2010

It's Shabbos Now

It's been a long, trying day. Plenty of things to do, lots of running around... trying to stay awake... and just keeping going. No stopping.
The night settles in... everything calms down, if only for a bit. There is still so much to do. But... I want to relax....
And then, a most gentle, fragrant and warming scent begins to permeate the air. It's soft, sweet, succulent, and makes me salivate. Suddenly, there is a heavy hunger in my stomach where there wasn't one before. I inhale deeply, letting the rich aroma wave around in my nostrils. It is so heavenly, I can feel a lift, an elation. My mood has changed, my mind set is so much lighter.
Despite my efforts to detail the beauty of this scent, my words could never do justice. It must be experienced on an individual level... a personal indulgence, only momentary, but enough to understand the incredible scent I wish to convey...
True.... I am referring to food. But it is food on a different level. A different level entirely. It is a scent that is combined with the anticipation of the day to come... a day that in and of itself has its own soul-lifting scent. It fills the air... and while we may try to speak of it, describe it or convey it, it must be experienced to be fully enjoyed.
Shabbos is not just words that we express. It is a life changing time. It is the cement of who we are-- what holds us together. And oh! How pleasant it is! It lifts us, molds us! It enables us to be better people, to better appreciate all that we are given. Shabbos settles in and suddenly, we feel different... on a high... and in fact, we are. We are in the upper realms, reconnecting with Hashem. And up there, is the most heavenly aroma we could ever enjoy... And while we are not there yet, we have a piece of it down here. It comes every week. It nourishes our souls.
It's Shabbos.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Soaring

I saw it there
As we were driving by
The wings of an eagle
Taking flight into the sky

Carrying on its back
The souls that long and desire
To reach great heights
And soar ever higher

It flew into the clouds
Disappearing in a second too soon
In time it will ascend
And at night, neighbor with the moon

Only to reach its destination
And light up in the sun
Because the souls yearning for home
Have finally become one.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Overflowing, Spilling Out

Drop by drop
Filled to the surface
Crystal clear
And sparkling.
Radiance as it catches the light
The streams swirl within its confines
In delirium it is ethereal
It is happiness
And safety combined.
And then.... spilled over
Drop by drop
Removed of everything it tried to be
Full, and complete
Now half there,
Almost half gone
The optimistic sees the potential for fullness
And the pessimist realizes that nothing will be left
When trapped in the middle
Of being filled
And forgotten
The cup starts to crack
And then everything
Explodes

Monday, October 11, 2010

Vote!

Please help my friend win money for her class! Vote every day! http://www.fruits.com/teachermonday/vote_details.asp?p_ID=272

And vote here also!
http://www.care2.com/schoolcontest/3605/705/?refer=795.05.1286675181.311025

For more information, check her out here
morahmamela.wordpress.com

Aspects of Me

Upon hearing the revelation about certain aspects of a  person's personality, the almost initial reaction is to DENY DENY DENY!
That's not me! I don't do that! 
And then a person takes the time to think... and realizes, that the world certainly views him/her differently than a person views him/herself.... and realization settles in.
Am I really like that? Do I really act that way? Could he/she be right?
Acceptance... understanding... discomfort....
And then the promise (bli neder), the resolution to change sets in. Things must change. A person must behave differently... Arrogance, defiance, selfishness, vanity or any other number of similar personality traits are not becoming of a growing, thinking, changing person. They reflect all that is wrong in this world. And they must be changed. For the better... or for nothing at all. A person may look in the mirror and see all his flaws, but his self-understanding is somewhat limited. Who we are is, though it's hard to admit, not solely based on our own opinions of ourself. What others think of us do form our personalities...
We are not our own person at times....
At times we have to change, based on what others view of us...
I guess I am like that sometimes.... now how can I fix that?

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Unity- A Video

This video came out a few days ago in support of freeing Shalom Rubashkin. Many Jewish artists came together to create this video, an inspiring song with an uplifting message: We must stand together. Klal Yisroel is one unit...
We are united.
We are Unity.


www.unityforjustice.com

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