Fool

Fools

and devils

the lot of them

wild

animals

their lashing tongues

and racing hearts

I fear I cannot escape

their gnashing teeth

And hypnotic eyes

But I

I have been hurt

They have cut me

I bleed

colors I never saw

Before

And my heart

My heart has been turned against me
My closet comrade

Now a fearful foe

Enemies

Dangerous

Beasts.

Blackout

What's a blood donation without a story to go with it?

I was supposed to give blood a few weeks ago, after being hounded by the Red Cross. Instead, I pushed it off til today. I walked in the mild heat to the donation site, went through the preliminaries feeling fine then laid down the give blood.

About three quarters through my donation, the lady asked, "how are you feeling?" I responded, "fine." Then, a few moments later, I leaned farther down on the bed, and the lady repeated her question. I responded, as a haze descended over my eyes, "There I go..." and passed out.

It couldn't have been more than 30 seconds but in that time, I had the deepest sleep and a dream (if only I could remember) only to wake up to a beeping noise and people staring over me. I began trembling and shaking and breathing rapidly. Not to mention the pool of sweat. Yum.

A lady was telling me it would be ok and offering me juice. Although the donation was at a shul and the rabbi had given blood earlier, I still asked if the juice was kosher. (I had a different experience where it wasn't and I was supremely peeved.) Anyhow, they finished the donation and I was slick with sweat and feeling dizzy. I made it to the refreshment table and took two bites of a cookie when I put my head down and a lady guided me to a bed.

I laid down for a few minutes until my mother came to pick me up.

And now, more than five hours later I am sitting in bed, fighting off the heaviness in my head and writing this post.

For a first blackout it was rather exciting and (?) exhilarating, but most certainly not worth the Carvel ice cream my mother bought me after the donation when we went to the mall.

It was still yummy though.

My Bloody Experience

I wrote about the first time I gave blood here so I figured, why not write about the second time! Although the second time wasn't as successful, as you will soon discover... here goes...

A friend and I were supposed to go out for coffee and she said she was giving blood after school. I said I was too and we realized we were going to the same drive. So we went together. I had made an appointment for six ox'clock, not realized I would get there so early. I "read" the information booklet (way too graphic for my tender Bais Yaakov mind) and took a seat. The drive we went to was MAJORLY understaffed and only four donations seats were set up.

I waited for what seemed like HOURS til I was called in for questions. I went through the whole song and dance of answering my name, birthday, address and age and handed in my donation card (O Positive!) And then, the lady asked for my parental form because I am not 17 (ok, now you know my age). I explained that I had already given before. She said I needed the form. I asked if I could call my mother and have her speak with my mother. She said I needed a form. I stormed out of the cubicle, ranting to the girl I came with. I called my mother who said it was kinda stupid. But I ended up going home to get my form because I did not wait all that time to not give blood. I went home, got the form, returned to the drive and put up a whole stink that I needed to go back... I was first... half an hour later.

After answering the questions AGAIN and taking the quiz (which I think all respectable Bais Yaakov girls should be excused from) I went to the waiting area to give blood. Twenty minutes later I sat down in a right armed chair even though I gave left armed the last time. The needle was SO painful as it went in. Now you are expecting me to say I passed out, but NOPE! I don't really do that. It just REALLY REALLY hurt... My friend brought me apple juice, and only after I started drinking did I think to look for a hechsher, and guess what! It wasn't kosher. The blood drive, IN A SHUL (well, not a frum one AT ALL) was serving NON KOSHER APPLE JUICE! My friend called her rabbi to see if it was ok, i called my sister, was texting meanwhile, pumping with my right arm and freaking out cuz I was late to work... And then the lady who was taking the blood said my blood wasn't coming out. I was ready to plotz. She rearranged the needle (OW!) and eventually, after a bit more rearranging, said my blood was no good because it wasn't coming out. After two and half hours of waiting I only filled the bag 3/4 of the way.

Then, after not drinking anything except one small waterbottle for two hours, I went to work till 10:30, didnt eat anything real, besides for the cookies at the drive (which were kosher) until around 11. I was up til one in the morning, and til today, I have a bruise on my arm... I had a lot of fun showing it to my friends in school and watching them squirm... *evil laugh*

So even though it wasn't a successful donation, I knew Hashem was testing me. It was hard to keep my cool, but on the bright side, my blood may be used for something like testing and I can give again in less than two months! And I did learn a lot from this drive....

1. If your sister says she had to wait two hours to give, don't go to the same drive
2. CONSTANTLY DRINK! I hadn't which probably was why my blood wasn't coming out.
3. ALWAYS CHECK ANYTHING BEFORE EATING! Since moving to my current location I have gotten really comfortable knowing everything I eat is kosher and I can go to an all-kosher supermarket and everything I touch is kosher, but as always, I still should check.

In the end, it wasn't so great, but Baruch Hashem, I did learn a few things... and I have an awesome story to tell and a beautiful (not so purple anymore) bruise to show off...

And that my friends was my bloody experience... Hope you didn't pass out!

I Recycled Myself!

I gave blood today! And I learned a lot from the experience! So I wanted to share it with you! (Pardon my exclamation points--really excited and kinda loopy :D)

1. It is so sad the questions they have to ask you and the information you have to read prior to giving blood. Has society stooped so low that the basic reading information should have an X-Rated warning on the front? I think not! But, as we live in Galus, what I read is common practice... How pathetic... Ok, now a bit of a rant--are people so sick they can't control their physical urges that put their lives and others in danger?? I feel so disgusted after reading what was in that booklet, I could barely read the rest of it... (but I skimmed it cuz they make you read that thing... but seriously, a little warning would be appreciated for us BY girls who like to keep our little bubbles intact and not muss up our neshamos. Oish)

2. You only are as afraid as you make yourself. Life shouldn't be based on fear. All I heard before I gave blood is needles, sharp, ow! and passing out afterwards... But I set my mind to not be afraid... and if I can use that mindset with giving blood, why not use it with life in general? I was in good hands when I gave blood... I am in good hands every day. Hashem is taking care of me. Whoa. Epiphany. When you have HaKadosh Baruch Hu guiding you every day, why be scared? Can't think of a better hand to hold...

3. Even scary experiences can be fun! I think there is more negative hype about giving blood than positive! (Haha, positive... negetive... didnt mean to be so punny... i think lacking a pint of blood has boosted my humor... unless this is bad humor, in which case... I'll stop now) I mean, yes, it's a little disturbing to see bags of blood hanging around and people being poked with needles (I watched the guy next to me get stuck.. he didnt look like he was handling it too well :P ), when you think about it, its an awesome thing! By giving blood, that gives the potential for a life to be saved! A sick child that needs a transfusion, someone who was in an accident... Wow... it's pretty incredible.

The final thing I learned from giving blood: I feel like Superman! Ok, that's my ego talking, but I can't help it. I am pretty happy :D

(Pardon my rant-y-ness and rambling, it was a busy night!)