Friday, October 29, 2010

Why Is It So?

A friend came over last night and we spoke for a while about her grandfather who is sick. I tried to give her chizuk, ways she could help herself cope, and reason to smile and find the good in life, even when it seems so impossible. Her grandfather has been sick for a while, and in fact, wishes to die. His pain is so great, he has been dehumanized as he can't even go to the bathroom on his own.
She came to me to discuss this because of my experience with sick children (see my posts about Wonderland). I gave her my perspective on the situation, and ways she can accept the answer to her burning question.
Why is G-d doing this???
It's a valid question. We may never know the answer, but we can ask. And I told her, you can be mad at Hakadosh Baruch Hu. You can yell at Him, you can cry to Him. But you cannot ignore Him. Don't push Him away, because the moment you do, every ounce of hope is gone. When you have no one to talk to, no one who understands, HE does, and He desperately wants to hear from you!
My experience with sick children is such that I draw so much from them. Yes, their situation is awful. But so much can be gained from engaging with these children. Illness in any form is tragic, there is no doubt about that. I know kids, I know adults, who have every right to sulk around all day, to be mad at the world, to be mad at G-d, but somehow, in their darkness, in the shadows of their lives, they find light and spread it to the world. They show the world, "We may be hurting, we may be in pain, but it doesn't control us."
Every time I watch this video, I cry. But this family, this child! epitomizes what it means to find the light, even in so much pain!
I can't give my friend the answer to her question. I can't even begin to try.. I am no doctor, rebbetzin, nor do I know the full extent of the situation or all the cheshbonos involved, but I can tell her: Even though it is hard, even though it is difficult, you can still be happy... you can still be strong! Call to Hashem, cry out to Him! Load your burden on Him, and you will find yourself feeling so much lighter....

I hear about too many sick children, too many adults passing on... it hurts, and it's hard, and I have been angry at Hashem for what He does... but then I realize, not a thing that He does is bad... I just need to find the good in it all...

Im Yirtze Hashem, we should only have refuos, simchas, and brachos in our lives...

1 comment:

  1. This is such an amazing post. That video brought tears to my eyes...you are so right, every word you put here.

    Thanks...it's just what I needed to hear.

    ReplyDelete

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