Waving Flags

I posted previously about Camp Simcha's trip to New York and their fabulous dance routine in Times Sqaure. Now, check out the JUST RELEASED music video! It's AMAZING!

Hey You

Hey you over there
The cool blue eyes
And waving hair
In the summer breeze
You found yourself in the bright sunlight
But lost your soul in the reckless nights
Of wandering and trying to find
Who you really are.

I see you
Smiling in the camera's flash
And puckering your lips
Because every situation
Is a photo-op
If you hold up your hands for peace
And the sparkle in your eyes
Last for a second.

Surrounded by a crowd
Of adoring fans and friends
You thrive on the attention
And flash a grin
That satisfies those who follow
Your every word
And lust for your hand and heart

But you
Do you care for yourself?
You have fallen prey
To the glitz and glamor
Of rebellion
It taunts and teases
And you willingly give in
When will you
Find yourself?

The Magic Comes to New York

If I had any words for this post, I would write them. But I don't. Here's why....

Camp Simcha is truly magical. The work they do, the love they show, the joy they share is truly incredible. Lives changed that day. I guarantee it.

Conversation 2

I'm baaaack
You know, you get more and more irritating each time we talk
That's only because you know I'm right.
And I'm weak, right?
No... just confused...
And you're here to clear things up?
Sure! You can think of it that way.
Grrr...
Now now, use your words.
You keep coming around, messing with my head, and that clears things up?
Well, you get a better idea about how to deal with your situations.
But I keep stumbling...  
It happens... at least you recognize that... you can use that to make better choices.
It's so hard... I want to give in... It's SO tempting.
Isn't that why you feel so much better when you resist?
I guess so... but.. I would love to give in... that false comfort is so alluring.
It always is... I do a good job of making bad things look good... attractive... tempting... all the things you want but know better than to indulge in.
You really are quite cruel...
But... if not for me, you certainly wouldn't be such a strong person.
If not for you I wouldn't have such moral dilemmas.
I know... I'm crafty like that. But enough about me.... how are you going to deal with this? I don't want you to have to keep coming back to me... You don't enjoy it which makes me not enjoy it.
I don't know... I did something actively... then regressed... and now I feel like I am torn in two directions.
You better pick one fast. You're heart... you're SOUL, can't deal with the tug of war you are being pulled between.
I know... I feel it... It hurts...
Well. Get to work. I suppose we will be speaking soon.
I guess so. Uch.

Hold Close

Hold me close
This is where I am safest
In your arms.

The world out there
Is so scary
And dark.

Filled with lies
I just want an ounce of truth
Can it be found?

Do friends become enemies
Over a single mistake?
Is this how it has to be?

I wonder
If beyond this pain
There is a light to be found

I search for answers
Yet they are only found
Next to you

So hold me close
I wish to see
The brilliance of your world

Conversation 1

You must be kidding me
I know, I know
No, seriously, I played you once, but twice?
Try like five million times
True, but you know better
But you are so strong
You've won me before
So this time I gave in
Why?
Because... the pull was too strong to resist
Try again
Because I liked feeling in control
Fair enough, but do you really feel in control?
No...
So then what do you need to do?
Figure out what's the right thing to do
And how do you do that?
Stop talking to you and actually do something.
Smart thinking. Hatzlacha.

If Only...

After reading this post on Inspirational Information, I really found the message of Tisha B'Av hitting home...

I went to a bookstore today to get an Eicha/Kinnos sefer for Tisha B'Av... a book that is only used one day out of the year... and this should be the last time I have to use it... yet, in a sense, I should be sobbing copious tears over it every day. Tisha B'Av is one day to remember thousands of years of pain and suffering and in order to understand that I spent $15.99? Shouldn't the understanding of a nation's grief and sorrow be something innately known to me? I should have Eicha committed to memory. I should know the lamentations of my own people by heart... and it should be constant in my heart and soul... yet... it's not... It scarcely crosses my mind because of how distant I am from it. In a previous post I wrote about what happens when we become closer to something... it becomes twisted in our minds, more real, yet we see its flaw... But when we are farther from something, we see it in a different light. It becomes perfect in our minds... and nothing is perfect except for the Bais Hamikdash... How lucky we would be if we could see it, up close and personal and finally understand the meaning of perfection...

My mind is whirling when I think about the Churban, the tragedies of our people... I don't understand it. I could never comprehend the pain, the soul wrenching pain that was inflicted onto the greatest Tzadikim of our people... Baruch Hashem, I live a comfortable life... but because of that, I don't yearn for the Bayis like I should...

But I tell myself, over and over, I would hop on a plane right now if I could. Even in my sweaty gym clothes, I would fly to Eretz Yisroel, just to breathe in the kedusha... if Moshich would come this second, I would run... but His coming isn't always on my mind...

This Tisha B'Av should be the last...

Just Keep Swimming

Have you ever watched a child swim,
Diving deep beneath the water's brim?
Have you seen their joy as they find themselves weight-free
And their expression reads, "Can this really be?"

With each stroke and kick, a little farther they go
For all who watch, they see a fabulous show
Of a child realizing their own strength and might
And their pure innocence is rare beam of light

Now imagine a child who has never experienced moving on their own
They cannot function or do anything alone
Constant care surrounds them each day
And to act on their own, there is no way

In their bodies, like prisoners they remain
Though in their mind, they are one hundred percent sane
They see the world through saddened eyes
Cuz hardly anyone notices to realize

But here they come to place
Where everyone delights to see their face
Ablaze with happiness and ecstasy
And for a time, they are in a fantastical reality.

So when they enter the waters wave
To their own body they are no longer a slave
To you and me, this isn't so incredible or great
But for these kids, there is no better feeling, then standing up straight

What is Wonderland?

"There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder..."


So I have been blogging about Wonderland for a while... No, I didn't take a trip to the land of bunnies and evil queens. 


I went to Camp Simcha.


For those of you who don't know, Camp Simcha is a camp for kids with debilitating chronic conditions and kids battling cancer. Camp Simcha and Camp Simcha Special with separate sessions for boys and girls provides two weeks of of relief, fun, and pure joy like no other place in the world. (Check out their brand new website www.campsimcha.org)


And while my job was behind the scenes and difficult, I still saw the true fantasy that comes to life for a summer there. The never ending smiles, the singing, the shows, the love and the happiness.


Just being there, the gorgeous grounds is enough to put someone on a high. Then the kids came. The rush, the explosion of welcome, was intense, yet powerful. When the kids came off the bus, their lives were changed. 


I went for Camp Simcha Special. The girls in that session have been the way they come to camp since birth. Wheelchairs, walkers, braces... feeding tubes, g-tube... nebulizers... the whole nine yards. And for two weeks, brave young ladies take these children into their hands and care for them. For some, it's easier. For others, it's hard. They go on call for 24 hours... simply to provide life in Wonderland. Imagine if.... imagine if every place was like this one... 


I came home a few days ago and the memories are cemented into my mind. I don't think I will ever leave that place. And I can't wait to go back...

Return from Wonderland

Coming down from a high is always hard. There is the separation, the sadness, the trying to make it by and then, there is acceptance.
I came home from camp yesterday. Not just camp. I cam home from Wonderland. And I can't wait to go back. 26 days... only 26 days...
While I was there, the head counselor described our time there as, "The longest days, and the the shortest weeks." I hope that I will feel the same way while I am home waiting to return.
I could use about 50 posts to describe the beauty of this Wonderland.... It was a place where dreams came true, pain was forgotten and saddened spirits were uplifted. It was heaven on earth. It was a land of make believe... Imagine if we lived there all year long...

The closer we come to something, the easier it is to see its flaws. From far away, a painting can look stunning and whole, but the closer you come, every mistake and error in each swish of the brush becomes clear and apparent, and suddenly, the beautiful painting becomes merely plain.

How can we still keep in our minds that beautiful image? It takes work and effort to remember the design before we saw its mistakes. Yet, even though its flawed, it doesn't take away its beauty. It simply makes it more real.

Happy Birthday To Me

"Hi mommy."
"Happy Birthday Rachelli!"
"Thanks!"
"Rachelli.... Grandpa passed away..."
Cue tears.

Happy birthday to me...

What Can I Say?

What in the world is there to say
When the biggest part of someone's life
Is slowly, painfully dying away?

How can you console the person
Who has always been the one to hold you
When she is losing something so real and true?

Is it possible to relate to someone
When you have no idea how they feel
And all my emotions, feel completely unreal

I am sorry we were never close
And that your time in this world is coming to an end
There is nothing I can say or do.

I know we were never close. It doesn't mean I don't love you. I do. It's like something out of a book. I didn't call, we hardly spoke, I was never interested. And now all I want to do is curl up next to you with my fingers in my mouth, my blanket in my hand, and your arm wrapped around me like you used to do when I wore pink fleece pajamas. 


What can I possible say?


Please... for all who love you, and need you, stay alive.
Hakol Byidei Shamayaim-- Hashem, what you decree is good, but can the pain not be so great?

Just Imagine

(Based on a Shmuz by Rabbi Shafier of TheShmuz.com and Tiferes Bnei Torah)
Close your eyes for just a moment. Picture nothing. Blackness. Grey. Empty. Nothing.
Now, imagine a beach.... clear, blue, crystal shining water... a green palm tree in the brightest share... a vast, expansive blue sky... a beaming sun warming your skin...
Hold that image in your head. Don't let it go.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Now. BAM!
The realities of life come crashing down, all the responsibilities, the hectic schedules and overwhelming duties to yourself and to others. You're rushing around trying to fulfill all of life's demands and that pretty picture just fades away... a faint memory slowly being crushed by the billions of other things that come to occupy its now missing place. Suddenly, that bliss is gone, only to return when you have a moment to stop and conjure it up again. It only exists because you were able to create it, imagine it, design it in your mind. You willed it into being. It was real, SO real, but only to you, and only for the moments that you could keep it real in your mind...
And that is the distinct difference between us, mere humans, and G-d, the All-Powerful, CONSTANT Creator of this incredibly detailed and complex world.
HaKadosh Baruch Hu doesn't need to sit at His desk with His head between His hands to imagine his world, to will it into existence. It exists solely because G-d is constantly renewing it. Humans need to stop to create. G-d is always creating. Every second that you move, that you breathe, that you are ALIVE, is because G-d decided it should be, so it was, is, and will be for as long as He so desires.
Nothing gets in His way. An earthquake might delay a human being from fulfilling his plans, but that very earthquake FULFILLS G-d's plans. It WAS His plan.
Every detail, every minuscule, almost insignificant facet of this world, that without the world wouldn't run properly is constantly being willed to be by G-d.
Imagine if one muscle in your body stopped working. What if one vein just decided it was tired and stopped? What if the trees didn't take in carbon monoxide and release oxygen?
Seemingly small details come together to form a larger, gradner picture, entirely painted by HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
Don't you feel comfortable knowing that that Master Artist is continuously creating his creations and renewing them each day?

Fashion Crisis

Walking down the street
You see those girlies in the heat
The Bais Yaakov maidels
Looking so aidel
But beneath the black and dark
Is something sinister-hark!
It’s the desire to wear color and fun
But sadly we gotta blend in with everyone!

We try with flair

To do our hair

As different as the rest

And see who can do it best

The highest bump clipped

Or the neatest bangs snipped

We tell ourselves to be different, for sure!

But if we do, would we cause too much allure?

I'll wear color one day

But I am scared to be sent away

Out of my close knit circle of black clad friends

Whose rules for apparel, never seem to bend

The same flairy skirt, or pencil style

That has been "in fashion" for a while

Or the black Junee tops with bows

Yea, one day I'll own one of those

But do I want to be

Just like everyone I see?

In the same drab

That seems so fab

Yet it falls flat

When I think of that

Becoming my life fashion choices

Dictated by the silent style voices

They think they know me inside and out

But who I am REALLY, they know nothing about

That I can't be defined or diminished by black

And I'll do my best to use that missing color to elaborate what I lack

What it cuts off in style and creativity

I'll make up in talent and personality

So fashion dictators of the world, I pray tell

Why do you dress me and pretend to know me so well?

In Their World

What's it like inside their world
Is all just well and great?
Do they feel trapped inside their minds
Because they can't enunciate?

Do they think like you and I
With thoughts so straight and clear?
Do they recognize special friends
Who hold them close and near?

Though they make not look like others
Their expressions are strange and undefined
They are the most precious gems
That anyone could ever find

Photoshop Series: Untouched Beauty

(Click for larger view)

Although this new series is supposed to exhibit my creations in Photoshop, this picture represents all of my feelings about the program when it comes to "enhancing photos". New creations like my previous post I feel are more acceptable. They reflect talent in the program (not that I'm so chasuv), not skill in changing Hashem's world through means of airbrushing people or landscaping a photo differently. When I took this photo the world felt so clean, so perfect, and so real. There was a breeze, a shining sun, and just pure bliss. For a few moments, I felt like the world was safe, like everything would be ok.
In this scene, I see the perfection of Hashem's world. I see His distinct touch in the color, the landscape, and everything this picture encompasses. Perfection cannot be created in Photoshop. It cannot be enhanced through tools and filters. This scene is perfection. This is Hashem's world. All I could do is add "Ma Rabu Maaesecha Hashem." How Wondrous is Your World Hashem.

Copyright 2010

(Please do not send, save or share without my permission)

Understanding Life Through the Dynamic of Death

Ok, I stole that title from a shiur the Rabbi of my shul gave... but, I am going to elaborate on a different aspect than what he spoke about.
As I was driving in the glorious sun after bestowing a treat to my dear friend, I saw a sight.... and it shook me. It was a line of cars, fifteen or twenty, I wasn't counting, but there were a lot. And on the front of each of their cars was an orange sticker that read "Funeral". My heart froze. My mind raced. Who was it? Who died? And why?
Then, as I continued driving, I thought, Wow... so many people are coming to escort this person to their final resting.... They must have been special.
And I think that is a very important thing to remember in life, when losing someone we love. True it is hard. True, it is sad. But think of that person, their neshama hovering between this world and the next, warmed and happy to see they were loved... and those who escort the meis can realize their connection with the person who passed. They can recall special moments, happy times and pleasant memories.
Death can be sad. A young life cut short. A person, farther on in their years, tragically taken from this world. It is hard, SO hard to understand, to cope with and make sense of... But their death, the actual event, lo haikar, it is not the main thing. The moments before, the moments after, those are the crucial times in a person's life... and their death. The time before a person passes on can be filled, PACKED with so much goodness, so much happiness and love, accomplishment and wonder. The moments after serve as a testimony to the impact the person who passed on left on others. Kabalos taken on as an aliyah. Kavod HaMeis. Levaya. Shiva. Shloshim. Aveilus. It shows that a person MEANT something, they WERE someone. How sad it is for someone who passes on with no one to acknowledge their passing...
I pray, I beg, that for the people in your life, you hold on to. You connect, make connections, and hold on to for dear life... because how tragic would it be for someone to pass on, someone you were close with, or knew, to go on without anyone to say goodbye or recall with fondness how special they were...

New Series: Photoshop Series- Life

 have decided to begin a new series on my blog entitled: The Photoshop Series...
Below is the first exhibit in the series...
I made it based on a speech from Chevi Garfinkel. She was discussing how in life, we have our ups and our downs... we wish for things to be smooth sailing, straight, no bumps, just stam. But then, we have to realize, if there is no up or down, there is no life. If life is straight, stam, it means you are dead. If you don't rise when you fall, you will never get up. If you don't fall, you will never learn. You must strive to lift yourself up. You must accept your own faults and deficiencies. Mistakes don't break you. They make you. They form you and change you. As Chazal says: Sheva yipol Tzdaik Va'Kum. Seven times a Tzadik will fall and rise.
So sometimes you may fall, stumble, or succumb to the depths, but as long as you reach up, strive for better things and to redeem yourself, you will live.

Copyright 2010

(Please do not send, save or share without my permission)

Please Help: Camp Simcha

I am a huge advocate for Camp Simcha and Chai Lifeline.
Camp is starting soon.
Please help ensure that every kid who can benefit from Camp Simcha is able to go

Donate to Camp Simcha Here


Tizku L'Mitzvos

(More about Camp Simcha to come soon....)