Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Conversation 2

I'm baaaack
You know, you get more and more irritating each time we talk
That's only because you know I'm right.
And I'm weak, right?
No... just confused...
And you're here to clear things up?
Sure! You can think of it that way.
Grrr...
Now now, use your words.
You keep coming around, messing with my head, and that clears things up?
Well, you get a better idea about how to deal with your situations.
But I keep stumbling...  
It happens... at least you recognize that... you can use that to make better choices.
It's so hard... I want to give in... It's SO tempting.
Isn't that why you feel so much better when you resist?
I guess so... but.. I would love to give in... that false comfort is so alluring.
It always is... I do a good job of making bad things look good... attractive... tempting... all the things you want but know better than to indulge in.
You really are quite cruel...
But... if not for me, you certainly wouldn't be such a strong person.
If not for you I wouldn't have such moral dilemmas.
I know... I'm crafty like that. But enough about me.... how are you going to deal with this? I don't want you to have to keep coming back to me... You don't enjoy it which makes me not enjoy it.
I don't know... I did something actively... then regressed... and now I feel like I am torn in two directions.
You better pick one fast. You're heart... you're SOUL, can't deal with the tug of war you are being pulled between.
I know... I feel it... It hurts...
Well. Get to work. I suppose we will be speaking soon.
I guess so. Uch.

4 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry-sounds like a searing battle... what works for me is not so much to fight it but rather find a different obsession, a positive passion.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are so good at describing the battle...

    Brochi-that sounds like a really good idea - to channel your thoughts and feelings into something positive and also find a way to distract yourself by keeping busy with good things!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You have such self-awareness, it's quite amazing. Is it natural or have you worked on yourself to be like this?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Brochi- Yes, it's a battle... and you're right, i Should shift focus to something more productive... like blog posts! hehe
    itsagift- maskim
    Sun Inside Rain- Thanks... and I have been working on myself for a LONG time...

    ReplyDelete

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