Thursday, November 20, 2014

Stages of...

Note: I wrote this a few months ago when said guy had said no, this time for real. Flash forward a few months later, he is now engaged. When I found out, I cried like I never thought possible. While I went through these stages before, I went through them again. All I can say is that if he isn't the one, I am getting closer to finding him...

He said no...

No he didn't. Why would he? He couldn't have! 
Lock the doors. Give me a pint of ice cream. 
I don't want to talk. Don't want to listen.
He said no. But he didn't.
So there.

He said no...

That JERK! That inconsiderate, self-absorbed, selfish, callous JERK!
How could be so rude? Why is he so STUPID?!
Boys are stupid. That's it. They are dumb, unintelligent, cruel JERKS!
And he is the BIGGEST JERK OF ALL!

He said no...

Maybe if I had prayed more... maybe if I had done more good deeds.
Maybe if I had slept less, worked harder...
I'll be better. I'll pray harder. Please...
I just want him...
I'll do whatever it takes...
Take my heart... I don't need it.

He said no....

I don't want to go out.
I'm not gonna bother getting dressed... no one cares anyhow.
No one cares about me.
I mean, honestly, who would?
G-d, life sucks.

He said no...

He said no. He did't accept me.
But I accept my self.
I accept... that things will get better.
I will find someone better.
I will move on.

2 comments:

  1. Perfection. Is this how every girl feels like as she goes through the stages of grief? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, it's all there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know about everyone, but the stages can apply to any sort of loss... This was just how I worked through it....

      Delete

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