Top Ten Rules to Posting to OnlySimchas!

I apologize if this has been done before... here is my take on the matter!

Top Ten Rules for Posting to OnlySimchas

1. Do NOT use excessive exclamation points in the announcement (ex. Simcha of Shprintze Faigy Hopperstein and Yitzy Fellergoldenshpiel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

2. If you don't know the name of either party involved, DON'T POST IT! It looks bad and no one can share in the simcha! (ex. Lucky Chosson and Lucky Kallah.... or, Chosson Yitzy and Kallah Shprintze.... get it?)

3. In your comment, it is exceedingly unnecessary to recap the last fifteen years or fifteen minutes that you spent with that person (ie. remember that time when we did that thing (insert inside joke here). And OMG, that time at that place was SOOO FUNNY!!! Lollll (insert name of other parties involved here.)

4. The cel-phone picture? Again? Really?

5. Celebration pictures should not include photos of the food (it just makes us jealous that we didn't get to eat it....) flowers (yes... they are pretty... so?) or the centerpieces (plan on donating them to my simcha?)

6. YES IT IS A SIMCHA, AND YES WE ARE EXCITED BUT WHEN YOU USE ALL CAPS IT JUST SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE YELLING AT ME AND NOT IN A NICE WAY (see what I mean?)

7. Brooklyn, Israel is not a place. Never has been... never will be... Let's keep locations consistent. Please.

8. Inserting "Mazel Tov" before the simcha (ie. Mazel Tov to Yitz Fellergoldenshpiel and Shprintz Hopperstein) defeats the purpose of comments... you've said it all....

9. If you see it's been posted again... please... spare us from seeing the same simcha six times in the news feed...

(They are engaged? Oh look! They are engaged again! And again! And again... and again...)

10. Only REAL simchas people... we don't want to hear about your fish or turtle...

Mazel tov and happy posting! Oif simchas!