Sunday, November 14, 2010

Little Kid

I remember there was this little kid I used to hang out with. She loved to run around in circles, dance in the sun and fly in the wind. Life was her stage and she starred as the lead role. Costumes were in abundance... stage makeup colored her every movement. She was a pretty cool kid...

She loved making trouble. If there was something mischievous afoot, she was usually the one behind it. Pulling pranks was her specialty. I would join her in her games and laugh with her as she made others wonder in curiosity about her "abnormal" ways. She didn't care if they whispered. She was going to live her own life, regardless of the pointing fingers and hushed tones.

We hung out a lot, way back in the day. I remember feeling so safe around her, despite her youthful tendencies. She was someone I was happy to be with. And then, one day she was gone.

I looked for her a few times. I went back to the places we had spent time together. The park, the sidewalks, the ice cream store and the old drug store. But she wasn't there... and soon, I didn't have time to look for her.

I had too much to do to look for a flighty little kid. She wasn't reliable, she was a risk because she wasn't someone I could trust.

I let her fade away... she became just a faint memory...

Then one day, when I grew up, I realized how much I missed that little kid and I wanted her back in my life... but by that time she was gone... We had gone too far from each other. I lost myself.

And I lost that little girl.

I lost me.

6 comments:

  1. Its hard to find the balance between being mature and still keeping that spark alive within us from our childhood. The curiosity and beautiful naivete that comes with youth should not be lost as we grow older.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's very true... this isnt biographical-I can guarantee you I have still retained my youthful spirit... or at least an ounce of mischievousness and rebellion... all the while, its still important to remember that growing old doesn't have to mean growing up...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well put. Sometimes we're so focused on growing up- on that next step, that we forget to enjoy the present.

    I wear a Hadaya ring engraved with "Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift". At times, we have to hit the pause button in life and just relish the moment.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Its true... its always, what's next, what's coming... being a kid, or act like one (a mature one of course) is also a part of the growing up process... learning to let your guard down...

    that's a great quote to wear :) (plus, hadaya is so awesome)

    ps. welcome :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. :( i find that too... i lost that little girl and i miss her. she knew a lot about life that i've forgtten...

    ReplyDelete

Labels

2011 (1) 49 (1) 5772 (1) acceptance (1) adar (1) adult (1) age (1) aish video (1) aish.com (1) alive (1) america (1) animals (1) apology (1) art (1) attack (1) bad for shidduchim (1) balloons (1) bar yochai (1) baud hamikdash (1) beasts (1) beauty (1) beginning (1) belief (2) benefit for bentzi (1) bentzi (1) black (1) black and white (1) black friday (1) bleed (1) bless (1) blessing (1) blood (4) boil (1) bomb (1) boston (1) boy (3) boyfriend (1) boys (1) breaking glass (1) breathe (1) broken (1) Building (2) burning (1) bus (1) buses (1) camera (1) cameron duncan (1) Camp Simcha (8) camp simcha special (1) cancer (1) candy (1) carboload (1) chai lifeline (5) chaim schvarcz (1) challenges (1) chances (2) change (4) channukka (1) chanuka (1) Chanukah (2) chayeinu (1) chesed (1) child (2) children (1) chizuk (1) choice (1) choices (1) chosson (1) christmas (1) chupah (1) cinema (1) class (1) climbing mountains (1) clock (1) close (1) clouds (1) cold (1) color (1) confusion (1) connected (1) Conversation 4 (1) convert (1) count (2) cousins (1) cry (1) CT (1) cyber monday (1) dance (2) danielle (1) danielle zfat (1) dating (3) davening (2) day (1) deals (1) death (6) decision (1) decisions (4) defying gravity (1) desire (1) desires (1) destruction (1) details (1) different (2) diploma (1) direction (1) disconnect (1) donation (1) dr. seuss (1) dreams (2) driving (1) dying (1) education (1) egged (1) eight days (1) El Al (1) emotion (1) emuna (3) end (1) end of the world (1) engaged (1) Eretz Yisroel (2) explosion (1) facebook (1) facebook nation (1) fairies (1) faith (2) family (1) fear (1) feelings (2) fieldn war zone (1) fighting (1) finish line (1) fire (1) flag (3) flags (1) flight (1) fluff (1) flying (2) Fogel (1) fools (1) forest (1) forever (1) forgiveness (1) freedom (2) friend (3) friends (5) friendship (2) future (3) G-d (2) gadol (1) games (1) gashmius (1) Gatorade (1) gila rina (1) girl (2) give (1) giving (1) going away (1) gone (1) good (1) goodbye (1) google (1) graduation (1) graffiti (1) greeks (1) greeting (1) grin (1) grow (2) growing (3) growth (2) hannukah (1) hanukah (1) happiness (8) happy (2) Hashem (16) head (1) heart (8) heaven (1) hell (1) hello (1) help (2) helping (1) hide (2) holding (1) holiday (1) home (5) honey (1) hot (1) hours (1) hurt (2) hush (1) ice (1) imagination (1) indecisive (1) independence (2) infinite (1) ing (1) innocence (1) insanity (1) insomnia (1) intellect (1) introspection (1) Israel (9) israel day parade (1) israeli flag (2) itamar (2) jerusalem (2) Jewish (1) jewish action (1) jewish geography (1) jewish novels (1) jewsic passover music video (1) job (1) judaism (1) Judgment (2) kallah (1) klal yisroel (1) LA (1) lag baomer (1) language (1) learn (1) learning (1) legacy (1) lessons (3) life (17) life support (1) light (2) limbo (1) list (1) little leaf (1) lives (1) living (1) look (1) los angelos (1) loss (3) lost (1) love (6) lying (1) magic (1) Mamilla (1) Mamilla Mall (1) man (1) marathon (2) marriage (2) mask (2) masquerade (1) math (1) maybe (1) mazel tov (2) Me (2) meetings (1) meme (1) memories (1) memory (1) Mercy (1) meron (1) messages (1) miami (2) milk (1) mime (1) mind (2) miracle (1) miracles (2) mirror (1) missing (3) Mitzvos (1) mohel (1) mold (1) monkey bars (1) months (1) morality (1) morley (2) morning (1) moshiach (1) movie (1) murder (1) music (1) natural (1) nature (1) neo-chassid (1) neo-chassidus (1) neochassid (1) neochassidus (1) new (1) Newtown (1) night (1) no (1) novel (1) now (1) o (1) oil (1) omek hadavar (1) omer (1) orthodox jews (1) others (1) pace (1) pain (2) palm trees (1) passover (1) past (1) paste (1) people (1) personal (1) personality (1) pesach (2) peter pan (1) place (1) poem (1) poetic (1) poetry (1) Pop Chassid (1) popchassid (1) pot (1) prayer (2) present (1) pressure (1) pretend (2) priorities (1) prism (1) problem (1) professional (1) profile (1) psychology (1) pulse (1) purge (1) question (1) questions (3) quiet (1) quote (1) rabbi akiva (1) race (2) rashbi (1) reading (1) reality (1) recycle (1) redeem (1) redemption (3) related (1) reminders (1) repentance (1) resume (1) return (2) revelation (1) rise (1) road trip (1) roads (1) rogue (1) roller coaster (1) Rosh Hashana (1) round tuit (1) ruin (1) rules (1) run (4) running (1) rushing (1) sad (1) sadness (1) sales (1) Sandy Hook (1) schizo (1) schizophrenia (1) school (2) searching (1) seasons (1) secrets (1) sefira (2) Shabbos (5) shadchan (1) shakespeare (1) shavuos (2) sheva brachos (1) shidduch (3) shidduch crisis (1) shidduch profile (1) shidduch resume (1) shidduchim (2) shield (1) shochet (1) shooteast (1) Shooting (2) sickness (1) silence (3) simcha (1) sing (1) slavery (1) sleep (2) smile (2) smiling (3) smoke (1) sneakers (1) snow (2) soaring (1) sobiech (1) social network (1) society (1) soul (4) spark (1) speaking (2) speical (1) stain (1) staircase (1) starbucks (2) status update (1) stoppard (1) strangers (1) street (1) street art (1) strength (2) strong (1) struggle (1) stuggling (1) stupid (1) suffering (1) sukkah (1) sukkos (1) summer (1) sunglasses (1) superhero (1) survive (1) swimming (1) talk (1) teacher (2) tears (1) technology (1) teenager (1) tefilla (1) tel aviv (1) terror (1) teshuva (1) texting (1) thanks (1) thanksgiving (1) the purge (1) the purge movie (1) the purge trailer (1) thinking (2) thunder (1) tightrope (1) time (5) tired (2) top ten (1) torah (3) tragedy (1) trailer (1) travel (2) tree (1) tricks (1) truth (1) trying (2) tuesday (1) tuesday tunes (1) tunes (1) twitter (1) uncertainty (1) understanding (1) unite (1) unity (1) unspoken (1) video (1) voices (1) waiting (2) watch (1) wavin'g flags (1) waving (3) waving flags (2) wayfarers (1) wedding (4) week (1) weird (1) whatsapp (1) Who am I? (1) why (1) wicked (1) wishes (2) wonder (3) wondering (2) wonderland (1) words (2) world (1) wrist (1) wristwatch (1) writing (1) x-mas (1) xmas (1) year (2) Yerushalayim (3) yeshivishe (1) Yetzer Hara (2) yetzer tov (1) yevanim (1) Yirmiyahu (1) Yom Kippur (2) yom tov (1) yom yerushalayim (2) youtube (1) zach (1) zach sobiech (1)