Waving Flags

I posted previously about Camp Simcha's trip to New York and their fabulous dance routine in Times Sqaure. Now, check out the JUST RELEASED music video! It's AMAZING!

Hey You

Hey you over there
The cool blue eyes
And waving hair
In the summer breeze
You found yourself in the bright sunlight
But lost your soul in the reckless nights
Of wandering and trying to find
Who you really are.

I see you
Smiling in the camera's flash
And puckering your lips
Because every situation
Is a photo-op
If you hold up your hands for peace
And the sparkle in your eyes
Last for a second.

Surrounded by a crowd
Of adoring fans and friends
You thrive on the attention
And flash a grin
That satisfies those who follow
Your every word
And lust for your hand and heart

But you
Do you care for yourself?
You have fallen prey
To the glitz and glamor
Of rebellion
It taunts and teases
And you willingly give in
When will you
Find yourself?

The Magic Comes to New York

If I had any words for this post, I would write them. But I don't. Here's why....

Camp Simcha is truly magical. The work they do, the love they show, the joy they share is truly incredible. Lives changed that day. I guarantee it.

Conversation 2

I'm baaaack
You know, you get more and more irritating each time we talk
That's only because you know I'm right.
And I'm weak, right?
No... just confused...
And you're here to clear things up?
Sure! You can think of it that way.
Grrr...
Now now, use your words.
You keep coming around, messing with my head, and that clears things up?
Well, you get a better idea about how to deal with your situations.
But I keep stumbling...  
It happens... at least you recognize that... you can use that to make better choices.
It's so hard... I want to give in... It's SO tempting.
Isn't that why you feel so much better when you resist?
I guess so... but.. I would love to give in... that false comfort is so alluring.
It always is... I do a good job of making bad things look good... attractive... tempting... all the things you want but know better than to indulge in.
You really are quite cruel...
But... if not for me, you certainly wouldn't be such a strong person.
If not for you I wouldn't have such moral dilemmas.
I know... I'm crafty like that. But enough about me.... how are you going to deal with this? I don't want you to have to keep coming back to me... You don't enjoy it which makes me not enjoy it.
I don't know... I did something actively... then regressed... and now I feel like I am torn in two directions.
You better pick one fast. You're heart... you're SOUL, can't deal with the tug of war you are being pulled between.
I know... I feel it... It hurts...
Well. Get to work. I suppose we will be speaking soon.
I guess so. Uch.

Hold Close

Hold me close
This is where I am safest
In your arms.

The world out there
Is so scary
And dark.

Filled with lies
I just want an ounce of truth
Can it be found?

Do friends become enemies
Over a single mistake?
Is this how it has to be?

I wonder
If beyond this pain
There is a light to be found

I search for answers
Yet they are only found
Next to you

So hold me close
I wish to see
The brilliance of your world

Conversation 1

You must be kidding me
I know, I know
No, seriously, I played you once, but twice?
Try like five million times
True, but you know better
But you are so strong
You've won me before
So this time I gave in
Why?
Because... the pull was too strong to resist
Try again
Because I liked feeling in control
Fair enough, but do you really feel in control?
No...
So then what do you need to do?
Figure out what's the right thing to do
And how do you do that?
Stop talking to you and actually do something.
Smart thinking. Hatzlacha.

If Only...

After reading this post on Inspirational Information, I really found the message of Tisha B'Av hitting home...

I went to a bookstore today to get an Eicha/Kinnos sefer for Tisha B'Av... a book that is only used one day out of the year... and this should be the last time I have to use it... yet, in a sense, I should be sobbing copious tears over it every day. Tisha B'Av is one day to remember thousands of years of pain and suffering and in order to understand that I spent $15.99? Shouldn't the understanding of a nation's grief and sorrow be something innately known to me? I should have Eicha committed to memory. I should know the lamentations of my own people by heart... and it should be constant in my heart and soul... yet... it's not... It scarcely crosses my mind because of how distant I am from it. In a previous post I wrote about what happens when we become closer to something... it becomes twisted in our minds, more real, yet we see its flaw... But when we are farther from something, we see it in a different light. It becomes perfect in our minds... and nothing is perfect except for the Bais Hamikdash... How lucky we would be if we could see it, up close and personal and finally understand the meaning of perfection...

My mind is whirling when I think about the Churban, the tragedies of our people... I don't understand it. I could never comprehend the pain, the soul wrenching pain that was inflicted onto the greatest Tzadikim of our people... Baruch Hashem, I live a comfortable life... but because of that, I don't yearn for the Bayis like I should...

But I tell myself, over and over, I would hop on a plane right now if I could. Even in my sweaty gym clothes, I would fly to Eretz Yisroel, just to breathe in the kedusha... if Moshich would come this second, I would run... but His coming isn't always on my mind...

This Tisha B'Av should be the last...

Just Keep Swimming

Have you ever watched a child swim,
Diving deep beneath the water's brim?
Have you seen their joy as they find themselves weight-free
And their expression reads, "Can this really be?"

With each stroke and kick, a little farther they go
For all who watch, they see a fabulous show
Of a child realizing their own strength and might
And their pure innocence is rare beam of light

Now imagine a child who has never experienced moving on their own
They cannot function or do anything alone
Constant care surrounds them each day
And to act on their own, there is no way

In their bodies, like prisoners they remain
Though in their mind, they are one hundred percent sane
They see the world through saddened eyes
Cuz hardly anyone notices to realize

But here they come to place
Where everyone delights to see their face
Ablaze with happiness and ecstasy
And for a time, they are in a fantastical reality.

So when they enter the waters wave
To their own body they are no longer a slave
To you and me, this isn't so incredible or great
But for these kids, there is no better feeling, then standing up straight

What is Wonderland?

"There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder..."


So I have been blogging about Wonderland for a while... No, I didn't take a trip to the land of bunnies and evil queens. 


I went to Camp Simcha.


For those of you who don't know, Camp Simcha is a camp for kids with debilitating chronic conditions and kids battling cancer. Camp Simcha and Camp Simcha Special with separate sessions for boys and girls provides two weeks of of relief, fun, and pure joy like no other place in the world. (Check out their brand new website www.campsimcha.org)


And while my job was behind the scenes and difficult, I still saw the true fantasy that comes to life for a summer there. The never ending smiles, the singing, the shows, the love and the happiness.


Just being there, the gorgeous grounds is enough to put someone on a high. Then the kids came. The rush, the explosion of welcome, was intense, yet powerful. When the kids came off the bus, their lives were changed. 


I went for Camp Simcha Special. The girls in that session have been the way they come to camp since birth. Wheelchairs, walkers, braces... feeding tubes, g-tube... nebulizers... the whole nine yards. And for two weeks, brave young ladies take these children into their hands and care for them. For some, it's easier. For others, it's hard. They go on call for 24 hours... simply to provide life in Wonderland. Imagine if.... imagine if every place was like this one... 


I came home a few days ago and the memories are cemented into my mind. I don't think I will ever leave that place. And I can't wait to go back...

Return from Wonderland

Coming down from a high is always hard. There is the separation, the sadness, the trying to make it by and then, there is acceptance.
I came home from camp yesterday. Not just camp. I cam home from Wonderland. And I can't wait to go back. 26 days... only 26 days...
While I was there, the head counselor described our time there as, "The longest days, and the the shortest weeks." I hope that I will feel the same way while I am home waiting to return.
I could use about 50 posts to describe the beauty of this Wonderland.... It was a place where dreams came true, pain was forgotten and saddened spirits were uplifted. It was heaven on earth. It was a land of make believe... Imagine if we lived there all year long...

The closer we come to something, the easier it is to see its flaws. From far away, a painting can look stunning and whole, but the closer you come, every mistake and error in each swish of the brush becomes clear and apparent, and suddenly, the beautiful painting becomes merely plain.

How can we still keep in our minds that beautiful image? It takes work and effort to remember the design before we saw its mistakes. Yet, even though its flawed, it doesn't take away its beauty. It simply makes it more real.

Happy Birthday To Me

"Hi mommy."
"Happy Birthday Rachelli!"
"Thanks!"
"Rachelli.... Grandpa passed away..."
Cue tears.

Happy birthday to me...

What Can I Say?

What in the world is there to say
When the biggest part of someone's life
Is slowly, painfully dying away?

How can you console the person
Who has always been the one to hold you
When she is losing something so real and true?

Is it possible to relate to someone
When you have no idea how they feel
And all my emotions, feel completely unreal

I am sorry we were never close
And that your time in this world is coming to an end
There is nothing I can say or do.

I know we were never close. It doesn't mean I don't love you. I do. It's like something out of a book. I didn't call, we hardly spoke, I was never interested. And now all I want to do is curl up next to you with my fingers in my mouth, my blanket in my hand, and your arm wrapped around me like you used to do when I wore pink fleece pajamas. 


What can I possible say?


Please... for all who love you, and need you, stay alive.
Hakol Byidei Shamayaim-- Hashem, what you decree is good, but can the pain not be so great?