Upward or Inward?

Question: Why don't we recite Birchas HaChodesh on the Shabbos before Rosh Hashana? It would seem apparent that before the month that determines our entire year we would be extra vigilant in asking G-d to grant us Bracha, Parnassa...

Answer: Because the month that determines what our entire year looks like is dependent on us and what we choose to make of it. G-d simply makes it happen.

This was the gist of the Drasha my Rav gave this Shabbos and I have to say, it really resonated with me. We tend to get into this mode of putting so much of our hopes and desires into G-d's hands, like we should, but we forget that it is also dependent on ourselves what our life will look like.

G-d can deal us a difficult lot and we can be miserable, or we can think, this is a challenge, a struggle, and it will make me stronger, I just need to learn how to overcome, and overcome with happiness.

So... next week is Rosh Hashana... I am always a nervous wreck at this time. I look back at my whole year and think... Did I really accomplish anything? Am I any different? I start to mentally write down everything I did and look for that glimmer... and then I gulp and begin to sweat nervously when I think... another year is coming... another year of (what I hope will be) growth, expectations, obligations.... 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

It's maddening.

But then I realize. 

It's up to me.

I have made it this far. I can go further.

Kesiva V'Chasima Tova.