Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Memory.... Hallway.

                I walk back into the building, not just passing through, or dropping by. I am here to wander the halls and go back in time. The smell of paint and glue fills my nose. It is both acrid and refreshing. It brings back memories… It reminds me of when I was a student here. I was awkward, unsure of myself. Navigating the stresses of high school wasn’t easy. I often felt alone… abandoned. In a school  like this one, where students here are simply mass produced, I got lost in the crowd. And when I was noticed, it wasn’t for my talents or skills. It was because I was a truant. A rebel. A rule-breaker. A problem.
                My mind drifts, floating through the days, weeks, months and years that I spent here. Were they happy years? Not really. There were certainly happy moments, but I will never look back and call them the “best years of my life.” When I received my diploma it took all of my self-control not to jump off the stage and race out of the building. I wanted nothing more than to rid myself of my awful uniform, teachers and memories.
                If I could do it over, I would have done it differently. I wouldn’t have let myself get taken advantage of. I wouldn’t have let myself be bullied by the administration. I would call out the teachers who shouldn’t teach. The teachers who let me stumble blindly through my education, and even more, let me grope through my spiritual lessons. Questions unanswered. Problems unsolved. So much confusion…
                Well, my time here is over. The tour is complete and I walk out the building. I am both impressed and disappointed. It is a beautiful tragedy. Within these walls, potential brims forth, but it is stifled, it is controlled… and it is destroyed. Within their parameters is the only area for growth. You play by their rules, or you don’t play at all.
(Photo by me... Trying to practice my photography skills. I am sure there is a hidden message here...)

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