Confusion

When all else fails, the yetzer hara will pull out his dirtiest tactic- confusion.

You know Pandora's box? Confusion was in there.. confusion WAS the box... So it makes sense that unleashing it caused a lot of problems.

Why is confusion so bad?

When we know the difference between right and wrong, when it's clear, there is struggle, but it's obvious. Throw confusion in there, then the struggle is blurred and mixed up.

I see that sneaky little hand of confusion come up and suddenly, nothing makes sense.

And if there is anything more torturous... It's confusion.

I hope you find clarity soon, and through that, find your own peace.

Rhapsody

I'm skipping
Tripping
Love this lie
This blissful high
I'd take this dream
Sew its seams
And wear it like a coat
Set it as a sail
And coast on this boat
Neverland is only as far
As you let your imagination take you
I saw clouds that looked like you
They faded into the endless blue
And I forgot that you were once true
So I leapt to the sky
The moon isn't so high
When I know I can always land
Amongst the stars
And make my wishes real
And break this bad deal
I can go back to my dance
And get lost in my own trance
This song sings like forever
And will carry me on to Never

Anger

Below is a poetic description of what happened to me last night... All of the details are true, except for one part. Can you guess?

She steps on the bus

Cursing the world

Words so violent

It caused stomachs to curl

 

Every F-word

And even more in between

The sound of nails and dirt

And more, so obscene

 

Loud and clear

The roar of the insane

A thousand words

Pierced with anger and pain

 

Depression, obsession

"Stop polluting the air

You have a response?

I really have no care"

 

"See this finger

You're not worth my breath

But I'll keep cursing

Until there is none leftt

 

Every year

It's all the same

Kids with no respect

Playing at this game

 

"Just drop me off

I don't want this anymore"

Oops, the bus hit her

And she is dead on the floor.

Be A Man

Sometimes in life, you have to take matters into your own hands. When a situation needs fixing, you have to stand up. Take charge. Be a man where no one else is being on.

(Or woman... depending on your situation).

Sometimes, it means going out of your comfort zone. Making decisions that didn't know, or think you can make.

Sometimes, that is very hard.

But what happens if you don't take control?

Things can fall apart... become a mess.

You need to take control.

And today, I did just that. I saw a situation that needed adjustment. It required peseverance and determination.

Which is why today was a very monumental day.

I took a tool to aid my success and went at it.

Today, I cut my hair.

:)

Invisible

Up in smoke

Remnants still burning

Disappearing in the air

Invisible...

Invisible...

You can see the wisps

Or what was once there

A dream

A wish...

Invisible...

Can I?

Could I?

Should I?

Would I?

Wish.... wish...

To be...

Invisible...

Divisible...

A wish...

A dream...

Good night.

Flame

I see you flickering

Fighting against the darkness

To make your own light

To shine your own beacon

This world keeps trying to blow out

With winds of change

But a flame remains a flame

And while it can share it's light

Once it's out

The flame is gone...

So keep flickering and dancing

And spreading your light

Your pure brightness is enchanting

And your power is enhancing

Because there is strength in numbers

And you, my tine flame, are not alone

For each night you remain strong

And sing your song

After these eight days

You and I will reach

A point of human existance

Beyond normal comprehension

A time in space

That defies all preconcieved notions

A time that has been set in motion

And you, my powerful flame

Will be the light that leads the way

So my flickering flame

Shine on

Until that time

When all darkness is gone.

Awareness

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

 

 

I just thought you should be aware...

Trying Times

Part One

Where is the world going

Where have all the good ones gone

Our collective journey is ending

As the end of time is nearly upon

Today, tomorrow

I do not know, pray tell

Yet this I do know

We are sadly not well

To make a decision

In reverse of what you already said

Are you safe at night

When you sleep in your bed?

What demons haunt you

What mistakes lurk in your dreams

Are you breaking under the pressure

Of self made change-beams

Does anything keep you strong

Or are you broken and weak

You used to sing for the masses

And now you lost your ability to speak

Part Two

Where do we hide

And what do we see

The modern addi(c)tion of society

Has been the detriment of humanity

A family shattered

A life destroyed

For something so fake

That could never fill the void

Yet where is the sustenance

I so desperately need

In this dark times of destruction

Who will plant a seed?

The sun of our nation

Is diminished like the moon

And all we can ask

Is that our redemption comes soon

Read between the web pages

      I am

     unable

         to hold

    myself back

    from

looking at     

these

       things

Ctrl+F

I am lost in this place...

Ctrl + S

Save me... Please...

*Based on a Chinuch class

Change

Change means there is a new person waking up in your bed. And that person is you.

Change means there is a new person staring back at you in the mirror. And that person is you.

Change means there is a new person writing your words. And that person is you.

And isn't it scary when there is a stranger in your bed?

Isn't it scary when you don't recognize the person in the mirror?

Isn't it scary when you don't know where these words came from?

When you change, you can't be comfortable.

When you change, you have to stretch your limits.

When you change, you are not the same.

So if you are not you... then who are you?

G-d's Answers

What are you praying for?

What are you waiting for?

Do you need something different?

Or do you need something more?

You've been asking and hoping

You've been waiting for days

For G-d to grant you some clarity

Through all the muddle and haze

And it seems like there is nothing

There is no hope in sight

You've been trying for so long

And you're ready to give up the fight

It seems like G-d

Has given you a resounding NO

But there is a deeper message

That needs its time to show

G-d will never tell you never

Only that there is something better for you

If you wait sometime

It will be revealed with brilliant truth

G-d will never tell you no

Rather that the time is not ripe

And there is a clock ticking

As your answer comes down a pipe

G-d will never tell you no

The only answer left is YES

But you must realize

That He will only answer for you what is best.

Sunday

It's 6:15 Sunday night... Normally, I would be pajamas, or totally relaxed with no worries or cares... after all, it's Sunday. But in Israel, or at least in Sem life, Sunday is like any other day... in fact, we have more class on Sunday than most days... and it really makes me wonder.

In a lot of areas, the Israeli/Charedi way (depending on how you look at it, no starting arguements here) they really have the right idea. By turning Sunday into a regular day, and not one where one can just "relax", it puts more of a focus on Shabbos. Shabbos, Yom Menucha must epitomize everything that Sunday cannot be. A day of rest and reconnection with Hashem, without the distractions of work, technology and every day life. By not having Sunday to "recharge" Shabbos becomes a focal point for our week... We must put a lot of effort into Shabbos because, without Sunday to "catch up" there must be more put into Shabbos.

I hear the complaints of people who say they miss having Sunday (new Olim, obviously) but it kind of is a good thing. It means that every day must be utilized to its fullest and everything that can be accomplished in each day of Chol, must be done, so when Shabbos comes, it is just us and Hashem.

Sounds like a lot of pressure, but the way the world was created was that each day was filled with work, and on Shabbos we rest, and as Banim L'Hashem we are required to imitate His ways. G-d didn't just chill on Shabbos. One of the fundamentals of the world was created on Sunday!

So bearing that in mind, all the Chutznikim reading this (Ok... me included) take the time to turn Sunday into a greater means to connect to Hashem, thereby encompassing His plan and ideals of creation and this way, when Shabbos comes, there are no worries about "did I get everything done?" because by utilizing each day of the week like Hashem did during the Briah we can come to Shabbos with peace of mind and only connect to Hashem.

Scared

I see the way they look at him. I know what they are thinking. They are uncertain... they are afraid. They are scared. And rightfully so... but it's only because they don't really know what they are looking it

Y is the boy who I spend two hours with every Thursday. He is my chesed kid, and sometimes he can be difficult, but I wouldn't trade my time with him for anything.

Y has Down Syndrome. And because of him, I learned something about myself: Down Syndrome doesn't scare me. I have had plenty of prior interaction with kids with Down Syndrome, but never so consistently, and so intimately. It's just me and him. And I love it. Y is funny, smart and most of all, a really sweet kid. When people hear "Down Sydrome" they think: unintelligent, incapable and slow. And Y is far from it. He speaks two languages, knows his way around his neighborhood, is friends with all sorts of people and enjoys playing tricks on me. It's true- he isn't so fabulous at math (but we are working on it!), he looks different than other boys and his speech isn't so clear. And when someone first looks at him, they may be cautious. The kids in the park stare... he acts different than them. And I am sure there was a time when I was like them... but somehow, I realized that it's only what we don't know that scares us... and these kids, they don't know Y... I hope one day they will.