Thursday, April 28, 2011

Day Nine

I would like to say that today is Day One of my journey, that I am well prepared for my ascent and I know exactly which direction I’m heading in. But, truth be told, it’s already Day Nine and I haven’t a clue about where I am going or how I’m getting there.
I’ve barely begun and already I’m worn and weary. Lack of preparation or guidance leaves me feeling vulnerable.
Already, trying to track my journey is tiresome. But this is my journal. My diary. The Diary of my Spiritual Conquest.
I’m not sure how to go about this. I have forty days to make my discoveries, to come to certain conclusions and make my own decisions.
Forty days of spiritual cleansing. Purging myself before I reach my destination. Uch.
Whenever I come to this time, I feel so… detached. How can I ascend this steep ladder? Does the distance matter? Or does effort count too? And if so, does reaching the peak actually mean something? Or is it just a goal, albeit, rather unattainable? Self introspection is so difficult. No matter about the pain. This is my journey. Pain is inevitable. Success is uncertain. Discovery, for good or bad, is inevitable.
So here I am. At day nine. Nine days late launching my journey. I have nothing with me but my mind, and the vague knowledge of where I should be going. Nothing concrete. Just whispers. Yet, this is a map. I just don’t know how touse it. It holds keys, treasure and how to unlocked all of my mysteries.
Sigh. Travel is never easy.
Day Nine. Forty remaining.

1 comment:

  1. Good, good post.
    It's not easy because we weren't taught how to use these 49 days to the fullest.
    Any spiritual change you want to make must be done in baby steps. You can do it. You need to choose for yourself a goal that you can reach - and do something small and doable each day. So when you look back after you've counted, you can say, I made each day count!
    I'm doing it - so can you!

    ReplyDelete

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