Sunday, May 16, 2010

I Am Not Who I Am

Look at me,
And who do you see
The faint resemblance
Of who I was formally.

A mere shadow of similarity
To the life that I once lead
Yet, it looks nothing like
The road that lays ahead.

I am not who I am
The person that the world does know
I am a traveling person
Looking and seeking, only to grow

I am not who I am
The darker side remains hidden
For there is a lighter path
That has yet to be ridden

Can the past shape my future
Or do the two no longer connect
When it is my past that has fallen
And does not continue to keep me erect

For the bridges I burned
To bring me where I am now
I still wonder, and ponder
Could it be, and how?

The flames have fallen
And cold they now remain
Former brightness and falsehood
Now are bleeding and slain.

I am not who I am
The person who lives in my mind
Is a secret, scarred being
Whom I never again wish to find

She was a dark being
Filled with secrets and pain
And her twisted life and ways
Left nothing to be gained

Yet somehow in her trickery
She turned into the person that is me
A person of whom to be proud of
I wonder, can it be?

Accomplished, and happy
To bask in a positive glow
No longer marred by red and black lights
Of an illicit, depressing show

Finally free from the chains
That once held me back
I am no longer a person
Who thrives and strives on lack.

I am not who I am
Or whom I once seemed to be
I am a person, no, a SOUL
Changing, evolving, continuously.

2 comments:

  1. Wow, you wrote that so beautifully! It's really amazing that you are able to look back and see that you have changed so much.

    ReplyDelete

Labels

2011 (1) 49 (1) 5772 (1) acceptance (1) adar (1) adult (1) age (1) aish video (1) aish.com (1) alive (1) america (1) animals (1) apology (1) art (1) attack (1) bad for shidduchim (1) balloons (1) bar yochai (1) baud hamikdash (1) beasts (1) beauty (1) beginning (1) belief (2) benefit for bentzi (1) bentzi (1) black (1) black and white (1) black friday (1) bleed (1) bless (1) blessing (1) blood (4) boil (1) bomb (1) boston (1) boy (3) boyfriend (1) boys (1) breaking glass (1) breathe (1) broken (1) Building (2) burning (1) bus (1) buses (1) camera (1) cameron duncan (1) Camp Simcha (8) camp simcha special (1) cancer (1) candy (1) carboload (1) chai lifeline (5) chaim schvarcz (1) challenges (1) chances (2) change (4) channukka (1) chanuka (1) Chanukah (2) chayeinu (1) chesed (1) child (2) children (1) chizuk (1) choice (1) choices (1) chosson (1) christmas (1) chupah (1) cinema (1) class (1) climbing mountains (1) clock (1) close (1) clouds (1) cold (1) color (1) confusion (1) connected (1) Conversation 4 (1) convert (1) count (2) cousins (1) cry (1) CT (1) cyber monday (1) dance (2) danielle (1) danielle zfat (1) dating (3) davening (2) day (1) deals (1) death (6) decision (1) decisions (4) defying gravity (1) desire (1) desires (1) destruction (1) details (1) different (2) diploma (1) direction (1) disconnect (1) donation (1) dr. seuss (1) dreams (2) driving (1) dying (1) education (1) egged (1) eight days (1) El Al (1) emotion (1) emuna (3) end (1) end of the world (1) engaged (1) Eretz Yisroel (2) explosion (1) facebook (1) facebook nation (1) fairies (1) faith (2) family (1) fear (1) feelings (2) fieldn war zone (1) fighting (1) finish line (1) fire (1) flag (3) flags (1) flight (1) fluff (1) flying (2) Fogel (1) fools (1) forest (1) forever (1) forgiveness (1) freedom (2) friend (3) friends (5) friendship (2) future (3) G-d (2) gadol (1) games (1) gashmius (1) Gatorade (1) gila rina (1) girl (2) give (1) giving (1) going away (1) gone (1) good (1) goodbye (1) google (1) graduation (1) graffiti (1) greeks (1) greeting (1) grin (1) grow (2) growing (3) growth (2) hannukah (1) hanukah (1) happiness (8) happy (2) Hashem (16) head (1) heart (8) heaven (1) hell (1) hello (1) help (2) helping (1) hide (2) holding (1) holiday (1) home (5) honey (1) hot (1) hours (1) hurt (2) hush (1) ice (1) imagination (1) indecisive (1) independence (2) infinite (1) ing (1) innocence (1) insanity (1) insomnia (1) intellect (1) introspection (1) Israel (9) israel day parade (1) israeli flag (2) itamar (2) jerusalem (2) Jewish (1) jewish action (1) jewish geography (1) jewish novels (1) jewsic passover music video (1) job (1) judaism (1) Judgment (2) kallah (1) klal yisroel (1) LA (1) lag baomer (1) language (1) learn (1) learning (1) legacy (1) lessons (3) life (17) life support (1) light (2) limbo (1) list (1) little leaf (1) lives (1) living (1) look (1) los angelos (1) loss (3) lost (1) love (6) lying (1) magic (1) Mamilla (1) Mamilla Mall (1) man (1) marathon (2) marriage (2) mask (2) masquerade (1) math (1) maybe (1) mazel tov (2) Me (2) meetings (1) meme (1) memories (1) memory (1) Mercy (1) meron (1) messages (1) miami (2) milk (1) mime (1) mind (2) miracle (1) miracles (2) mirror (1) missing (3) Mitzvos (1) mohel (1) mold (1) monkey bars (1) months (1) morality (1) morley (2) morning (1) moshiach (1) movie (1) murder (1) music (1) natural (1) nature (1) neo-chassid (1) neo-chassidus (1) neochassid (1) neochassidus (1) new (1) Newtown (1) night (1) no (1) novel (1) now (1) o (1) oil (1) omek hadavar (1) omer (1) orthodox jews (1) others (1) pace (1) pain (2) palm trees (1) passover (1) past (1) paste (1) people (1) personal (1) personality (1) pesach (2) peter pan (1) place (1) poem (1) poetic (1) poetry (1) Pop Chassid (1) popchassid (1) pot (1) prayer (2) present (1) pressure (1) pretend (2) priorities (1) prism (1) problem (1) professional (1) profile (1) psychology (1) pulse (1) purge (1) question (1) questions (3) quiet (1) quote (1) rabbi akiva (1) race (2) rashbi (1) reading (1) reality (1) recycle (1) redeem (1) redemption (3) related (1) reminders (1) repentance (1) resume (1) return (2) revelation (1) rise (1) road trip (1) roads (1) rogue (1) roller coaster (1) Rosh Hashana (1) round tuit (1) ruin (1) rules (1) run (4) running (1) rushing (1) sad (1) sadness (1) sales (1) Sandy Hook (1) schizo (1) schizophrenia (1) school (2) searching (1) seasons (1) secrets (1) sefira (2) Shabbos (5) shadchan (1) shakespeare (1) shavuos (2) sheva brachos (1) shidduch (3) shidduch crisis (1) shidduch profile (1) shidduch resume (1) shidduchim (2) shield (1) shochet (1) shooteast (1) Shooting (2) sickness (1) silence (3) simcha (1) sing (1) slavery (1) sleep (2) smile (2) smiling (3) smoke (1) sneakers (1) snow (2) soaring (1) sobiech (1) social network (1) society (1) soul (4) spark (1) speaking (2) speical (1) stain (1) staircase (1) starbucks (2) status update (1) stoppard (1) strangers (1) street (1) street art (1) strength (2) strong (1) struggle (1) stuggling (1) stupid (1) suffering (1) sukkah (1) sukkos (1) summer (1) sunglasses (1) superhero (1) survive (1) swimming (1) talk (1) teacher (2) tears (1) technology (1) teenager (1) tefilla (1) tel aviv (1) terror (1) teshuva (1) texting (1) thanks (1) thanksgiving (1) the purge (1) the purge movie (1) the purge trailer (1) thinking (2) thunder (1) tightrope (1) time (5) tired (2) top ten (1) torah (3) tragedy (1) trailer (1) travel (2) tree (1) tricks (1) truth (1) trying (2) tuesday (1) tuesday tunes (1) tunes (1) twitter (1) uncertainty (1) understanding (1) unite (1) unity (1) unspoken (1) video (1) voices (1) waiting (2) watch (1) wavin'g flags (1) waving (3) waving flags (2) wayfarers (1) wedding (4) week (1) weird (1) whatsapp (1) Who am I? (1) why (1) wicked (1) wishes (2) wonder (3) wondering (2) wonderland (1) words (2) world (1) wrist (1) wristwatch (1) writing (1) x-mas (1) xmas (1) year (2) Yerushalayim (3) yeshivishe (1) Yetzer Hara (2) yetzer tov (1) yevanim (1) Yirmiyahu (1) Yom Kippur (2) yom tov (1) yom yerushalayim (2) youtube (1) zach (1) zach sobiech (1)