Climbing Mountains

I was saying a poem outloud last night... the truth of the words scared me so much I began to cry. Things like that don't happen to me... The poem can be read here. Yes, I wrote it, but the idea wasn't mine... it's something that faces us each and everyday-- the decision to make the right choices, or succumb to the wrong ones that will hurt us in the future.
Lately, I haven't been doing so well... lack of sleep and too much work can make a person think some bad things...a friend told me the other day "sheva yipol tzadik vakum." Now, I know I am no tzadik, but all these falls and struggling to get back up are helping me to become one-- someone who sees the struggle and understands that it isn't a reason to stumble rather, a reason the work even harder to rise above them and climb ever higher. I was reading "Mountain Climbers," by Malky Feig this Shabbos. The stories presented there express challenges we all are faced with at one point or another in our lives, or know of someone who has... Mountains say a lot about the past of Klal Yisroel... many major events in our history took place on, by, or near a mountain... Akaidas Yitzchak... Matan Torah...Binyan Beis Hamikdash... Churban Bayis Rishon and Sheini... Eliyahu and the false prophets... so is it any wonder that when we discuss struggles and difficulties we parallel those things to that of a person climbing a mountain? Those events on our history represented different stuggles-- Avrohom sacraficing his son and Yitzchak, willing to let it happen.... recieving the Torah after two hundred and ten years in Mitzrayim; Klal Yisroel throwing all their faith and belief into Hashem completely... building the home of Hashem... as well as watching it being destroyed... Eliyahu, one man amongst many who didnt believe, trying to make them see truth... Mountain climbers, struggling to bring Shem Hashem into the world through incredible trying situations... Climbers simply don't see what is in front of their faces-- rocks and dirt, instead they see the summit at the top where they can look around and gaze at the wonders of the world... Our Avos suffered greatly but they didn't see just their present situation, they saw the future where their actions would influence others to make the right choices!

For those of you who read my poem posted the other day (which I subsequently deleted) you saw how much my struggles affect me. They hurt me a lot, just like a mountain climber aches all over as he climbs ever higher... so yes, struggles hurt, and difficulties are hard to cope with, but as each one passes, with each one we over come we become stronger and are able to climb higher.

The poem linked to at the top of the page is the culmination of our lives-- standing before HakadosH Baruch Hu with only our mitzvos to defend us and stand with us... so why shouldn't I cry? I'm scared-- there are so many mountains I must climb in order to have those mitzvos hold me closer... but it's climbing those mountains that are bringing me closer to Hashem...

So, it is tough, it is hard, but Baruch Hashem I have been blessed with friends who care, a family who loves me and teachers etc. who want to show me how to climb higher...

It's tough... but it is so worth it.