Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Another Day

K, so today was just a really long day... trying to make it through another one... pushing myself to make it through is SO hard... I smiled in at all the right times, said all the right things, made plans for my nights yet... i still feel so empty, so listless and so lifeless, like what's the point?
I try to pick up as much as i can from my classes, but how can it really make an impact on me? I play the part so well, and its so hard!
My really good friends are a grade older, and are going to be leaving after this year, so i want to spend as much time with them as i can... but they have their friends, their plans and their lives... so i just sorta hang on the side... and my friends in my grade... well, i can barely stand most of my grade. they are so superficial, so immature, and turn everything into such a big deal....
Ok... so i got home... didnt help... some issues....
Anyhoo, here's a lil poem that expresses a lot of what i feel right now...

The Play

I’m standing behind the curtain,
It pulls apart for scene one,
Watch the stage closely,
The acting has just begun.

Smiles shine so brightly,
So blinding, they can’t be real,
You only see my costume,
You can’t even imagine how I feel.

I was born the play this part,
To pretend this is how it should be,
You think this is the truth?
You don’t even know the real me.

Hidden beneath layers of makeup,
I can put on quite a show,
I stand beneath a glare of hot lights,
Trying to embrace their harsh glow.

They only burn me,
The audiences eyes do the same,
They scrutinize me carefully,
Attempting to guess at my game.

Perhaps if you watch close enough,
You can see me where I make a mistake,
Maybe you’ll see me forget my lines,
Watch closely, I just may break.

I am an actress,
On the largest stage around
I’ve practiced this so carefully,
I know I’ve got it down.

Yet somehow every moment,
Leaves me gasping for air,
I pretend I'm not scared,
And perform each line with flair.

The curtain closes gracefully,
Act one has come to an end,
Hold on tight dear ones,
Come join for the next act around the bend,


The parts have been misplaced
The stage explodes with chaos
I try to keep my composure
No matter what the cost

Suddenly the sets are crumbling
All the props break apart
My beautiful production
Has become my shattered heart

There is nothing left
But a bare and empty stage
My well performed play
Has now become my prison cage.

3 comments:

  1. Well they say life is a stage,
    And we each must play our part
    The question is are we just acting
    Or do we feel it in our heart?

    Hashem has set the stage for us
    The lines are ours to write
    We can create a character
    Who vanquishes the night.

    Or we can look at other parts
    And from them form our own
    For fear of what all else will say
    When my true colors've shown

    But a role is what we all must take
    Make from it what you may
    It all depends on you, my dear
    And how you fill each day.

    ReplyDelete
  2. you inspire me, did you know?
    thanks so much

    ReplyDelete
  3. Those were two great poems!
    RD - the message of your poem is so true, if only you'd know how many people feel the same way as you do...every person has their tests and challenges but there is not one person who wants you to know what is going on. So people walk around with big smiles but just know, you never know what is going on behind someone else's smiling face!

    ReplyDelete

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