For Me

I made this choice

For me

Can't you see

Things are not the same

I am smarter now

I see more clearly

I am ready to live my life

The one I was given

And the life I lead before

Wasn't living

I was simply letting myself

Be pulled

Pushed

Shoved

Buried

Beneath

Expectations I never had to fulfill

And demands that were never fair

I always rose to the occasion

But now

I will choose the occasion

It's my party

And I will smile cuz I can.

Slowly

I wish to close my eyes. Lean back slowly, my head feeling heavier... heavier... and then landing, perhaps on a clouds, and left to just float.... away. To drift somewhere where worries have no meaning. Where tomorrow is simply a word, and yesterday is too far to remember. I think that sometimes we lose moments in the chaos of living day to day. We forget to wake up each day and think "what incredible things will I accomplish today?" We get lost in the rush of where to go, what to do, what to buy....

I have been rushing. Running. In the literal and figurative sense. And while there are miles behind me, and miles ahead, there is a journey as well that I would like to enjoy.

So... perhaps I will try... to just slow... down....

Feel Joy

Happy Birthday!

Mazel tov!

Congratulations!

I am

Overjoyed!

It's a boy!

A girl!

A chosson!

A kallah!

L'Chaim

Vort

Bris

Engagement
Wedding

Kiddush

I just

Want to say

I am learning

How to feel joy

And it feels

Joyous.

Clean

I am getting clean

Nothing 

Will hold me back

From setting myself

Free

I have set out to be

The best version

Of me

So I am getting clean

Letting go

Of what has been

Dragging me down

Down...

A downward spiral

Of holding onto memories

That mean nothing

A past

That has passed

And so

I clean myself

Get clean

Remove the garbage

Pardon my french,

The crap I have clutter my life

So today

I am getting clean.